Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Two 20-somethings after some bottomless mimosas in Columbia Heights:

“He’s a DILF”
“Such a DILF”
“Well … former DILF”

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Public officials ghosting … they really are just like us!

Two late-30s guys on M Street, headed to a Nats game:

Guy 1: “I’m very fragile right now. I’ve been stood up the past two days.”
(Long enough pause)
Guy 1: “By government officials.”
(Another pause)
Guy 1: “If you rely on anyone not to stand you up, it’s government officials.”

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You’re telling me there’s an Ann Taylor in Metro Center????????

At Ann Taylor in Metro Center late one evening about 15 minutes before the store was closing, two women working there are chatting with each other as they are winding down their day:

One says to the other: “… And now his wife and his mistress have all the same clothes.”

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Let’s hope so

30-something man and woman walking up 17th St in Dupont, walking the dog:

The man: “I wonder what happened. Think he fucked an Icelandic man?”

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Local Man Cast As ‘Devil’s Advocate’

Three 30-something men walking together past the Elephant Trails exhibit at the National Zoo.

Guy 1: “Well, to be fair, the British didn’t really invent colonialism, they just took it to its logical extreme.”
Guys 2 and 3: *Shake their heads disapprovingly*

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Only one way to find out

Overheard on F Street NE

Man to woman: “I can’t remember if I put on shorts or not.”

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Oct. 29, 2021: Maybe that’s her one stress reliever

A couple in their late 20s is walking down a Woodley Park neighborhood street talking, presumably, about a friend of theirs:

Woman: “She- she’s stressed because–”
Man, interrupting: “Well maybe she should stop cheating on her boyfriend …”

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Sept. 17, 2021: The gays are up by 1

A millennial woman is calling her friend to try and make plans:

Friend 1: “Sorry I can’t hang out tonight, I’m going to the Mystics game.”
Friend 2: “The gay agenda is ruining my friendships.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.