Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Family of four approaching the steps at the Lincoln Memorial:

Young boy: “Mommy, I can see God!”
Mom, “No, that’s … (sigh), that’s Lincoln, sweetie.”

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How long has he been saving that one

On George Mason University Fairfax campus, two men (not students) are standing near an outdoor display for GMU’s Jewish Student organization:

One man says to the other: “I spent a lot of time in Boulder, Colorado. Those were REALLY high holidays.”

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Lots of comedians this week!

Three friends, after ordering dessert, sitting outside Levain Bakery in Georgetown:

Woman, takes a bite of cookie: “Mmm, oh my god! It’s so rich!!!”
Man: “What is — that cookie or this neighborhood?!”

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Siri, search sociopathcore on Pinterest

A couple is on a weeknight date at Emissary in Dupont:

Man: “Oh, I don’t think he is a sociopath. He just has the aesthetic of a sociopath.”

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More and more people are asking this

Two young kids walking through Kalorama Park with an adult:

3-year-old yelling to everyone: “Does anyone have Cheez-Its?”

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Of all things one could mistake about D.C., this seems like one of the least egregious 

Overheard on a very crowded Green Line train heading towards Nationals Park: 

20-something guy: “I always get Navy Yard and Georgetown confused.”
20-something gal: “I know! They’re both on the water, right?”
Jaded locals: *Giant eye rolls and quiet laughter…*

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Can’t tell if this in a left-leaning way or in a “stormed the Capitol”-leaning way 

Man and a woman in their 50s, in Farragut Square sitting at one of the tables: 

Man: *checks his watch* “Well, it looks like it’s about time to go yell at Pelosi.”
Woman: *gets up* “Sure is!”

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Is Good & Gather not good enough for you 

Three 20-something women walking around the Columbia Heights target:

One of them, seemingly from out of town: “We kind of only shop at natural grocers … do they have those here?”

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I couldn’t help but wonder …

Two women in their upper twenties in athleisure overheard at Farragut Square: 

Woman 1: “Do you ever think, ‘Oh maybe I’ll see a guy I actually want to go out with while I’m on a date with the guy I’m currently with?'”
Woman 2: “Oh absolutely. I’ve seen enough rom-coms.”

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Fact check: a map

Four women are a little kid are having a picnic at the D.C. Boat House. They’re having a conversation about good places to travel:

35-40 year-old woman asks a 50-something year old woman: “So, where have you traveled outside the United States?”
She responds: “Honduras and New Orleans.”

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Oh my GOD?!

Overheard at the Panda Express in Columbia Heights. An UberEats driver walks back in, holding food he just picked up.

Driver: “Hey, can I give this back? My car just got stolen.”
Cashier: “Wait, what?!?”

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Always good to get a second opinion

A woman is attempting to make a lunch reservation on the phone at D.C. restaurant:

Restaurant employee through the phone: “Noon is twelve o’clock, right?”

—

Alex, you’re literally going to kill someone

Heard from a group of women in a Honda CRV racing down the 3100 block of 10th ST NE when they flew over a speed bump:

Passenger: “Woah Alex”
Alex: “It’s not my fault I’m used to driving a motorcycle.”

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Some days you just don’t have it in you

A family has gotten their boosters at a local CVS and is in the 15-minute waiting period: 

Kid, around age 10, bouncing around: “My legs feel weird. Really weird. Could this be an immune response?”
Mom (pauses a bit ) “No.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.