Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Two women conversing at Snallygaster: 

One to another: “We have a whole generation eating ass but will not try an olive.”

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Speling is hard

A husband and wife are playing Word Warp on her cell phone as passengers are boarding a flight from DCA to MSY (New Orleans):

Husband: “Try K-N-A-W … (more insistently) K-N-A-W!”
Wife enters word; game rejects word.
Husband, slightly sad and bewildered: “Oh, I guess it’s with a G…”

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How else are you supposed to show up at a 4-year-old’s birthday party?

Two mid-30’s guys in line for a beer at Snallygaster:

“I’m supposed to go to my niece’s 4th birthday after this.”
“Aren’t we kinda … too drunk for that?”
“I told her I wouldn’t show up if I was shit-faced but why should she trust me?”

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Real Christians know he was born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

A group at a Brookland restaurant is talking about their conservative Christian relatives:

“They think Jesus was born in Texas, or something.”

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This is her Joker, etc.

Two women in their mid-late 20s talking near the Dupont Circle Farmers’ Market:

Woman 1: “I just have so much energy. And it’s that ‘first time you see Amelie’ energy. You know what I mean?”
Woman 2: “Yes, so much! I’m so happy for you!”

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Suns Cinema (ex) gf, Raven (ex) bf

Overheard on a Saturday morning outside Addis Paris on Mount Pleasant Street:

“Why do they call it Mount Pleasant, it’s unpleasant to keep running into my exes.”

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No food is safe from Trader Joe’s pumpkinification

A man overheard in Trader Joe’s in Old Town:

“They got a lotta pumpkin (inaudible) here. Pumpkin this, pumpkin that. I’m loving it!”

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^They should hang out 

Two middle-aged professionals, a man and a woman, are in a cafe near NASA, complaining about the early holiday retail offerings (Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving, etc.):

Woman: “They had pumpkin pies at Costco in September and I refused to buy one.”

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And mom was named Mary

At Main Street Takoma, a 30-something woman proclaims to a friend:

“So Larry was never Lawrence! The kids were Larry, Gary, Terry and Sherry. It’s a thing in the Midwest!”

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Leave him at home next time

White”fuckboy” (sender’s description) in his mid-20s at Metro Center just after bragging about his two degrees and his work at The Heritage Foundation:

“Some friends of mine dragged me out to the Maryland Renaissance Festival last weekend.  It was a lot more fun than I thought it’d be.”
(He then went on to lecture his women companions about historical inaccuracies.)

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I hope she sees this

A little boy eating pizza with his parents outside of Martha Dear. A motorcycle pulls up and parks near the family/patio. The driver, wearing a leather jacket and black helmet, steps off the bike and pulls off her helmet, shaking out her long hair:

Little boy, in awe of the motorcycle and driver, jumps out of his seat to get a closer look and exclaims: “She’s a super hero! She can fight the bad guys!!”

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National Gallery of Art, hire him! 

A Takoma eatery, a mom with two small boys enters the establishment: 

One boy, about 4 years old, freezes and points at the orange maple-leaf garlands: “Look at these fake leaves!”
Mom, brightly: “Yes, they’re decorations!”
Boy, aghast: “But they’re FAKE!!”

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I’d say Mexico probably has good Mexcian food

Two late 20-somethings on the D4 on their morning commute discussing dining options in D.C.:

Woman one: “They actually have surprisingly good Mexican food at that place.”
Woman two: “I don’t believe that any Mexican food outside of Texas is ‘good’ Mexican food.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.