Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

A group of elderly tourists on a recent Saturday afternoon, walking in front of the Ellipse Visitor Pavilion where the sidewalk slopes down.

Elder 1 using a walker: “Oh, we’re going downhill a bit here.”

Elder 2: “I’ve been going downhill for years.”

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They don’t teach geography like they used to

Several senior ladies lunching at the Bread & Chocolate in Chevy Case, D.C.

Woman: “This is Bethesda, right? We’re in Bethesda?”

The others: “No, no. This is Chevy Chase.”

Second Woman: “There’s a Chevy Chase, D.C., and a Chevy Chase, Maryland, but we’re close to Bethesda.”

Third Woman: “Just like there used to be Takoma and Takoma Park–one in D.C. and one in Maryland. Now it’s all just been incorporated into Maryland.”

All three nod.

* A note for readers: This is not true. There is still, in fact, a Takoma in D.C.

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This is not what we mean when we say dogs are like humans

At a local farmers market, two dog owners were separating their leashed dogs (a Lab and some kind of little terrier).

The owner of the barking terrier picked up the dog: “He’s kind of anti-Lab, which is tough because that’s like every other dog around here…  you should see him around a Golden Retriever.”

An onlooker comments: “Is your dog racist?”

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Sis…

Two blonde women, mid-twenties-ish walking past on M Street near the Dabney.

One woman says to the other: “And he still doesn’t know I got a tattoo for him. And it’s been what, ten years now?”

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Start ‘em young

In the Men’s Room at the National Zoo

A Millennial Dad walks in with his young son, talking to him about estate planning: “And that’s why I’m looking into the tax exclusion.” 

The boy: “What’s an estate, dad?”

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That was awkward

At Blues Alley Jazz club:

Performer: “Our group’s next performance in the area will be at Silver Spring, I would love to see some of y’all there!”

Pretentious woman in audience: “Silver Spring? That’s like a whole other country!”

Performer: “Well, I live in Silver Spring. I won’t be forgetting that one.”

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She’s a runner, she’s a track star

A dad speaking to his daughter at the CVS pharmacy on Carroll Street NW: 

Dad: “I talked to the gentleman who’s giving you your flu shot and told him you wouldn’t run away.”

Daughter: “Why? What if I do?”

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Airport slumber parties aren’t what you think they are

A college group getting an update on some flight delays at DCA: 

Guy: “Wait, Colleen, you spent the night in an airport? I’m so jealous.” 

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I mean this sincerely … why?? 

Two young women are walking in Golden Triangle on a Saturday.

Woman 1: “He’s gonna get veneers by the time he’s 20.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.