Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

At Dulles International Airport as a flight is boarding, a mother tells her son (11 or 12-year-old) to go to the bathroom:

He yells back: “No! I don’t have to! It’s my body and my choice!”

—

Dilly-dallying but make it *mindful*

One bro to another bro outside the Columbia Heights Target: 

“Bro, wasting time is a state of mind.”

—

SHIPPING Rocky and Jack? 

Three 30-something professional colleagues walking through Navy Yard at 7:30 p.m. on a Tuesday:

Man: “ADRIAN! ADRIANNNNNNNNNN!!!”
Woman: “Right? I was like “you sound like Titanic!”

—

Says WHO?

Group of 30-40 somethings walking down East Capitol Street on Sunday afternoon:

“Beyoncé-hood is over”

—

*Katy Perry voice* “Do you ever feel.. like the SSNs… of Americans… purposely released by the….”

Two guys walking down the mall: 

Guy 1: “Look at that paper blowing in the wind.”
Guy 2: ”Oh! That’s just the SSNs of Americans purposely released by the Democrats’ Jan 6th fraternity.”

—

There’s a difference 

Overheard at Starburst Plaza at Benning Rd. and Bladensburg Rd. NE. An elderly couple is quarreling with each other. He mumbles something inaudible. 

Her, yelling: “I didn’t just fucking shut up, I was saying a prayer, honey!”