Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. We’re also adding in some greatest hits from the Overheard archives.

Overheard of the Week: 

On the 33 bus into Georgetown Monday night, two college bros discussing dating in DC:

“I’m just gonna tell her like, ‘I’m not your little boy toy.”

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Someone’s lying here 

On the Red Line towards Shady Grove on Tuesday afternoon, a group of about 20 7th or 8th graders are Metro-ing home after school:

Student 1: “I’m really not sure how I feel about Ms. Jimenez this year.”
Student 2: “Oh I love her. She gives me 100s on everything. I don’t think she even looks at my work any more!”
Student 1: “Oh yeah… I like her too.”

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That “mind” won’t get you wine though 

Two 12-year-old girls walking alone into Wine & Butter on a Sunday afternoon:

Girl 1: “I SAID you are older than me, but technically I’m older than you. I have the mind of an 80-year old!”
Girl 2: “That sucks!”

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A frenemy would be a fountain of information

At the Magic City Hippies show at 9:30 Club between sets: 

30-something man: “I just feel like I should be able to talk to the sperm donor’s best friend to find out what kind of person they really are.”
Disinterested 30-something woman: “Or enemy.”
30-something man: “EXACTLY!”

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Feb. 11, 2022: To be so confidently wrong, part ????

Three young adults, maybe in their 20s, are on scooters at the Reflecting Pool on a Wednesday afternoon: 

Confident-sounding man to woman behind him: “That’s a koi pond.”

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Sept. 3, 2021: Do D.C. next (actually don’t)

Three women in their 20s are outside Streets Market in NoMa: 

“New York is, like, the chaotic slut of the East Coast.”

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Feb. 24, 2017: Holiday for all?

On the corner of Connecticut Ave and Macomb NW on Presidents Day, a 30 something guy waits to cross the street while overlooking blocks of gridlock outside the National Zoo: 

A lady comes up beside him: “This is crazy! The Zoo should be closed, the beasts need to be released, and put an end to torture.”
30 something laughs: “Are you talking about the people or the animals?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.