Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

A group of 60-ish-year-olds on the Red Line heading to Glenmont:

Guy: “I have CRS sometimes”
Woman: “What’s that?”
Guy: “Can’t Remember Shit”

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Someone … considerate?  

On the Red Line, a 20-something woman talking to another 20-something woman about a guy she met:

“And his opening line was, ‘Do you have any dietary restrictions?’ Who asks that as an opening line???”

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Okay William Wordsworth

Two visitors overheard at Round Robin Bar in downtown D.C.:

“I prefer to shower in the daylight when the water looks like diamonds. But I have adapted…”

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I’m sure she loved hearing this! 

On a very hot afternoon, a mom walks toward the Air and Space Museum with two little boys in bucket hats. She’s holding the hand of the 5-year-old and carrying the 3-year-old.

3-year-old: “You’re doing great, Mommy! You’re doing great!”

—

Don’t we all 

Four women in their 30s are at the Four Five coffee shop in Arlington on a Saturday afternoon.

Woman: “I think the problem is that I just need to be tied up.”

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Heteropessimism

Overheard at the Anthem on a Friday night in August. Two women, probably in their early 30s, are walking to their seats. 

Woman 1: “We’ll you could always go out with younger men and pay for the dates.”
Woman 2: “Fuck that shit!”

—

Astronomically, that’s what happened

Walking away from the Kennedy Center after a performance of Moulin Rouge, two 20-somethings are gazing up at the moon. 

Him: “It’s not the blue moon anymore. Yesterday was the last night.”
Her: “What happened to it?”
Him: “It’s just back to being the regular white moon.”

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Close enough

A Sunday afternoon at 4th and M SE. A woman is about to cross M to get to the Harris Teeter to meet her boyfriend:

“Wait, is this Shaw?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.