Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Two twenty-somethings in front of the cat cafe on M Street in Georgetown:

“Look, it’s a cat cafe.”
“Dude if you got a cat, that’s it. Friendship over.”

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You’ve already lost

Late-20s or early-30s woman speaking to a guy in animated fashion while walking down 14th Street NW by Le Diplomate:

“But it doesn’t say, ‘Don’t park here or you’ll get towed’!”

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How every good story starts 

Middle-aged man talking to a woman as they walk down a sidewalk near Eastern Market:

“I walked in and she had the rectal thermometer. And she stared right at me.”

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Wellness™

Two guys coming out of the CrossFit in Adams Morgan Tuesday evening: 

“… showing off his abs even though he’s had a heart attack.”

—

Great answer to the “biggest weakness” interview question

A twenty-something woman walking out of brunch at Tabard Inn with a group of friends: 

“I’m honestly surprised I’ve lasted this long at the firm. I am not a person with a strong constitution.”

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When That One Friend is controlling the music

Mother pulling her 7-ish-year-old child out of an exhibit, the child was completely unperturbed by whatever he had done: 

Mom: “You’re making everyone miserable. You’re not letting anyone have fun. No one is having fun with you around.”
Child: “I’m having fun.”
Mom: “Well buster let me tell you – you are the only one having fun. No one else is having any fun.”

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Ice cream cop much!?

Mid-morning, a mom and her rambunctious son at the zoo:

Son: “Mom, I want some ice cream.”
Mom: “You’re not having ice cream. I said you have to follow a whole day of rules before you can get ice cream.”

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Very critical analysis, yes…

Two 30-something guys waiting in line: 

First guy: “So this is your first time back to D.C. in 15 years, do you think it has changed?”
Second guy: “No, not really.”
First guy: “Really?” (With a quizzical look)
Second guy: “Yeah, I went to Georgetown and I was just walking around the neighborhood last night, everything seems pretty much the same.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.