Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

At Ivy and Coney, a staff member responds to an (inaudible) question from a coworker as he wipes his eye with a napkin:

“I got mumbo sauce in my eye!”

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Grazer is the real muse 

At Art on the Avenue in Del Ray, two 30-something women looking at art prints, not talking, when one suddenly says …

“Have you been watching Fat Bear Week??”

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Future critic 

Overheard in a vintage shop in Alexandria, a mother and her 8-ish-year-old daughter:

Girl: “Mom why is there a picture of a naked woman?”
Mom: “Oh, because it’s art..”
Girl: “What kind of art?”
Mom: [long pause] …. “Contemporary.”

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The logic is foolproof

At the Columbia Heights Target, two 20-something women are discussing upping their dishware game as they move into their own places:

Woman #1: “I bought champagne flutes at an art museum gift shop. They were expensive but worth it.”
Woman #2: “That’s a great investment! If you don’t break them, you can use them for a long time!”

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Probably because you’re in Dupont Circle, Washington D.C. 

Overheard at Emissary in Dupont Circle. An older couple, presumably on a date, has spent a while discussing whether or not to order the wine that’s offered on the happy hour menu. They eventually decide to order it. 

Man, after taking one sip: “Well, it’s nothing like in Tuscany.”

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Me when I make any plans after two drinks 

A mid-20s man in a suit and messenger bag coming out of the Courthouse Metro, speaking loudly on his phone:

“So he said to me ‘well I never liked the idea anyway,’ and I said ‘how could you pitch an idea you didn’t believe in?!'”

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Already putting the kid in the middle, smh

Overheard in the Potomac Yard Target, a 30-something man walking alone except for a baby strapped to his chest in a carrier: 

Man to the baby (presumably): “…. because your mom’s list is GARBAGE …”

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Yeahhhh just rub it in

Late one early autumn afternoon, a woman is talking to her dog as they walk down the sidewalk in Shirlington:

“So what are we going to eat tonight? Well, you know what you’re eating, but what am I eating?”

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40 going on four, as they say! 

Overheard at DCA on the jetway as passengers are deplaning a small and crowded plane. Everyone had to gate-check their bag, so the deplaning is a bit chaotic:

Impatient man in his 40’s or 50’s, pushing his way through the crowd: “Jesus! Get out of the fucking way.”
Other 40- or 50-something guy: “Chill out, man!”
The first guy turns around halfway up the jetway: “You chill out!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.