Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the week
A group of dressed-up college interns is sitting together at Kennedy Center Millenium Stage before a performance:
Man, reading the screen: “‘Go to the KC cafe.’ I don’t want to go all the way to Kansas City.”
Same man, 20 minutes later: “Oh, I guess KC stands for Kennedy Center. That would make more sense.”
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Open for a surprise
Two mid-20s women in Arlington having a conversation:
Woman 1: “I think I want my next car to be a Subaru.”
Woman 2: “Well, driving a Subaru in D.C. is basically signaling to everyone that you felt the Bern.”
Woman 1: “But I didn’t feel the Bern – I voted for Trump!”
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Designed to be deleted
30-something dude at Slash Run talking to his friend on a weekday:
Guy: “The last wedding I went to was a Hinge wedding. The next wedding I’m going to is a Bumble wedding. At the Hinge wedding I was like ‘I’mma download this and then delete it in six months.’”
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Asking for a friend: how much do you make as a T.A. in Ireland?
20-something dude on his fourth (fifth? sixth?) beer, also at Slash Run on a weekday:
Dude: “If I told any of my professors how much I make as a T.A. in Ireland, they’d quit and move.”
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My document has people asking a lot of questions that are already answered by my document
Two women walking dogs in Georgetown:
Woman 1: “I documented everything, but he was asking a jillion questions. And I kept saying, ‘Like I put in the document, you do this. Or like I put in the document, you do that.'”
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Might I suggest NYT Connections instead?
Two perhaps interns on the Red Line after work a weekday:
Intern 1: “I didn’t get out of bed until 3 p.m.”
Intern 2: “Wait, you didn’t get up until 3?”
Intern 1: “No, I woke up at like 9 to check the stock market. Then I just laid there questioning my choices. I didn’t get out of BED until 3.”
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Call it “National,” call it “DCA,” but whatever you do, do NOT call it…
Trivia at a Capitol Hill watering hole:
Trivia host: “The next theme is Ronald Reagan.”
Crowd: “Booooooo!”
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No!
Georgetown undergrad men:
Man, in response to the other person asking if he went out last night: “No! We only had three or four and left really early.”
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It may have been the dark ages of medicine, but it was the golden age of jeans
A 20-something man is on his cell phone while walking near Virginia Square metro:
“…1993….the dark ages of medicine….”
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And I hear Squidward’s a barista at Tatte
Children are being led in a musical train game at a children’s music class in Northwest D.C.:
Instructor: “What is the next station?”
Child 1: “Foggy Bottom!”
Child 2: “That’s where SpongeBob lives!”
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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
Jenny Gathright