Gothamist learned about the craziest urban nightmare come true: A huge python found in the bathroom pipes. It was also a nightmare for some Yankees fans, as manger Joe Torre declined to come back and manage the Bronx Bombers. At least the city’s attempt to give some direction to subway riders was interesting, pranksters went shirtless at the Fifth Avenue Abercrombie & Fitch and the I Heart Brooklyn Girls calendars came out. And just…

Without a doubt, the most important event in classical music this week is the opening of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra’s season. It will be the occasion of the official installation of Marin Alsop as the group’s music director, the first woman to hold that position with a major American symphony orchestra. A celebrated champion of contemporary music, particularly by American composers, Maestra Alsop has come into her new job with a full head of steam,…

As we reported last month, this city seems to be buying Tommy’s Scientific schtick whether or not he is still feeling indigestion pains after placenta consumption. In the hometown of Scientology (is it really allowed to share a suffix with Microbiology and Physiology?), L. Ron’s people are revving up to open their new location on 16th St. in NW, and as of today, go-time is set for the fall. With so much more space, they…

This is going to be a good week. There are so many things to hear, concerts that promise great delights. We’ll start with the best of the best and go from there. RECOMMENDED: >> For many serious fans of the piano, especially those who prize accuracy of technique and intellectual craft, there is only Maurizio Pollini. The last time that he played in Washington, I leapt at the chance to hear him, as I have…

We have been plugging the excellent production of Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess all week, and it is worth your time and effort to see it, as we did this past Wednesday. However, all remaining performances have apparently been sold out. This means that your best and only remaining chance to experience this great American opera will be later today, when a live simulcast from the Kennedy Center Opera House will be shown on a huge…

(Classical music agenda by DCist contributor Charles T. Downey of Ionarts) If you are like this DCist, you are probably thinking about how to spend that big tax refund check. We suggest that an evening (or afternoon) of classical music, paired with an excellent meal if possible, is a worthy way of taking back your money from Uncle Sam and spending it on something you and that special someone can appreciate. OPERA AND BALLET: >>…

Washington Archbishop Theodore Cardinal McCarrick has cancelled his upcoming trip to Rome. The trip was unrelated to the Pope’s health. Instead, the Post reports that Cardinal McCarrick will officiate a special noon mass today for the ailing Pontiff at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle in the District. In the event of the Pope’s death, all Cardinals under the age of 80 will gather in Rome for a Conclave, a closely guarded gathering in…

Long before Thelma and Louise and Charlie’s Angels, the first “action-babe” was a 19-year-old cross-dressing French girl who claimed she could see angels, gave the French one of their few military victories, and altered the course of English history before — not much later — getting executed. For this bizarre-but-true story, she was canonized by the Catholic Church in 1920 and immortalized on film by Hollywood dozens of times, most famously by the “Fifth Element”…

If you’re running out of options for Northwest D.C., why not give Northeast a try? This weekend, Northeast offers the eighth annual Brookland Festival. The festival will feature live music, pub and grub specials, and a dance performance by Dance Place. Historic Brookland is one of the more fascinating neighborhoods of D.C. Home to The Catholic University of America, the neighborhood is also known as “Little Vatican” due to the high cluster of Catholic institutions…