We can see the flyers now, posted to telephone poles and taped to the walls of local business:

Missing Dog: Loving German Shepard that answers to the name “Ranger” last seen near Forrest Heights, Md. Black and brown, around 85 pounds, with collar. Loves donuts. Friendly, but has the tendency to viciously maul criminals, drug dealers, and terrorists.

No, the flyer isn’t real, but the lost dog is. It seems that U.S. Park Police lost Ranger on Sunday out along the Indian Head Highway in Maryland, and are now asking for any information that may lead to his recovery.

Image courtesy of NBC 4.