Horny party animal in PG seeks open-minded partner for experimentation, evisceration and nature walks. Must love dogs. No Chupacrabras, please.

Hey, even urban legends need love. Such is the case with Prince George’s own mythical monster: Goatman. He’s part man, part goat and all diabolical.

Last night Fox5 revealed some of the secrets of one of our area’s ghastliest ghouls. Finally, some news we can use!

Here’s the scoop: Goatman is an experiment gone wrong who has lived in the forests of Maryland for at least the last 200 years. Residents blame the beast for a variety of crimes including property damage, disturbing the peace with its eerie call and grabbing unwary folks from bridges. In 1971 he even got press for decapitating a dog in Bowie. Stories say he not only uses his teeth and claws on his victims, but is also known to wield an axe when the mood strikes.

The lore surrounding Goatman has all the best elements of an urban myth. He attacks young couples “parking” on the side of the road. He offers an explanation for an assortment of missing animals and people. Best of all, his origins trace back to nefarious government experiments (is there any other kind?). Mulder and Scully would be all over this one.

The seasonally-open Goatman Hollow may have closed its doors for the year, but we can still take pride in a local legend that makes the suburbs seem that much creepier.

Photo by Flickr user Sysy81.