Of all the rivalries in recent sports history, few have been as one-sided as the Wizards’ struggles against their Southeast Division antagonists, the Miami Heat. Indeed, it’s not clear you can even call it a rivalry, since in actual rivalries both sides sometimes win. D.C.’s hoopsters, by contrast, have been losing for a long time now. Sixteen straight games, including a four-game sweep in the 2006 Eastern Conference Semifinals, and sweeps of the regular season series in the 05-06, 04-05, and 03-04 regular seasons. Last time the Wizards beat the Heat, Caron Butler led Miami with 19 points, Michael Jordan scored 25 in a Wizards uniform, Eddie Jordan was an assistant coach in New Jersey, and Shaq was still playing alongside Kobe Bryant in LA.

Games featuring anything resembling the teams’ current configurations, however, have been unhappy encounters from D.C. Miami’s blown them out in Miami. Miami’s beaten them close. Miami’s beaten them in overtime. Miami’s even marred Gilbert Arenas’ career-high 47 points last December 30 by winning the game despite his scoring power. This time, the Wizards are determined to make things different and the basketball gods seem to be cooperating. The Heat, having surrounded their star Dwyane Wade with a series of over-the-hill veterans like Gary Payton, Antoine Walker, and Jason Williams during last season’s successful championship push have been paying the price all year, with virtually the entire supporting cast seeing sharp age-related declines in productivity. Then Shaq went out with an injury. Now Wade, too, who’s been almost carrying the team single-handedly is out as well, laid low by the removal of wisdom teeth on Tuesday.

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