> > Totally uninformed theory: Wonderland robbery actually masterminded by the mild-mannered members of Norfolk & Western? Just putting it out there…

> > Xmas In Washington play to feature Marion Shepilov Barry playing a heroic angel who sings “Stormy Weather” (WTFx10?!?) and comes to the rescue of Katrina evacuees separated from their children. Gloria Hightower says Barry’s star turn comes from a desire to make the character “realistic”–which can only mean the following 1) gasification will play a major part of this, 2) Barry’s angel will take flight, proving once and for all that the law of gravity is racist, and 3) the Katrina evacuees will be placed in social service facilities run by Barry’s cronytastic coterie of fleece artists. As Tiny Tim would say, “Bitch set us up, bitch set us up everyone.” [Reliable Source]

> > Chris Samuels is the only Redskin named to the NFC Pro Bowl team, as a reserve offensive tackle. This means that, unlike Al Saunders, Pro Bowl voters recognized that Samuels was good at “run blocking.”

> > Newt Gingrich wants a panel of judges to police “jihadi websites,” and his only criteria is that those judges who have “served in combat.” Because what better way can one show their appreciation for the men and women who put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms than to give them a lifetime appointment to a task of pure frivolity? [Wonkette]

> > EVENT VIEWING FOR TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert vs. The Decemberists in a shred-off. Better know a diatonic!

> > Area bands offer Christmas downloads! “God Rest Ye Metal Gentlemen” from Full Minute of Mercury, “Xmas Party” from Middle Distance Runner. These tunes will make your Navidad a whole lot felizier!

[Photo by Burnt Pixel. See more of Burnt Pixel’s work here.]