Update, Part 3: Here’s the audio of Rep. Gohmert’s wisdom on the District’s lack of representation. Or, should we say, over-representation? And we’ve redesigned the banner for his website to better reflect his new responsibilities…

Louie Gohmert — The District’s Voting Representative

Update, Part 2: Here’s a pic of Louie. He seems like a nice guy. And this is what he said, according to the Congressional Record: “I would submit to you that Washington, D.C. is also the only city in the entire country that every Senator and every Member of Congress has a vested interest in seeing that it works properly, that water works, sewer works, and no other city in America has that.” You’re right, Rep. Gohmert. And we’re going to exploit it.

Update: Oops! Apparently it was Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) that made the offending comment, not Rep. Boustany. CSPAN misidentified Gohmert on the House floor, hence our error. But the campaign shall not cease! No, it will expand. Feel free to call Rep. Gohmert’s office too! (202-225-3035) We’d apologize to Rep. Boustany’s staff, but according to the Law of Louie, he’s our representative too! And while we’re at it, Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Tex.) deserves some calls (202 225-4236). Ask him what happened the last time a group of Americans were taxed, unrepresented and, thanks to his efforts, armed to the teeth…

After yesterday’s debacle in the House of Representatives, you’d think we’d be a little peeved. Not only was the first good shot we’ve had at something approaching representation derailed by House Republicans, it was done in the name of holding up the rights of gun-owners as more important than those of potential voters. But we’re not angry. Why? Because we finally have a real voting representative in the House. No, Eleanor Holmes Norton wasn’t enfranchised under cover of darkness. Rather, Rep. Charles Boustany (R-La.) claimed us as his own.

In the midst of the debate, Boustany expressed his opposition to the legislation by claiming that since all 435 representatives have a vested interest in the District, why would we need our own? Well, Rep. Boustany, we’re taking your word for it. Since we can’t have our own representative in the House, we’ll just have to settle for you. And not a minute too soon, we might add, because there are potholes to be filled, trash to be collected and millions of dollars to be allocated to special interest projects of dubious national interest. We’re also itching to send advocates of all kinds to your office to hassle your staff — did you know that the Church of Scientology has a powerful presence in our fair city? We’d also like a copy of that oversized excerpt of the Constitution you were waving around on the floor of the House. It was pretty sweet.

District residents, Rep. Boustany is here to serve us. If you have any gripes, want a flag flown over the Capitol or simply want his staff to show you the wonders of Statuary Hall, he’s easy enough to find:

Address: 1117 Longworth Bldg., Washington, DC 20515-1807
Phone: (202) 225-2031
Fax: (202) 225-5724

If you want immediate service, ask to talk to Boustany’s Chief of Staff, Jeff Debrozsi, or his Legislative Director, Terri Fish.