Jason Campbell couldn’t miss, the defensive line looked like a wrecking crew, Carlos Rogers actually intercepted a pass (and returned it for a touchdown!), and Baby Jesus announced his preference for Joe Gibbs over Jon Kitna in a beating of the Detroit Lions so savage that Daniel Snyder had plenty of free time to stop worrying about the state of his football team, and start worrying about how the rides from his terrible theme parks have developed a taste for human blood.
The final score was 34-3, marking a complete turnaround from the team that flopped and fizzled their way through the second half of the New York Giant’s game. The offense was crisp behind a scintillating performance from the Savior, who went 23/29 for 248 yards, completing passes to eight different receivers (including Brandon Lloyd, who’ll probably watch the game highlight of his first and only catch of the 2007 the way Oliver Stone watched the Zapruder film). Clinton Portis added 72 yards on the ground; the team as a whole rushed for 118 yards. And where our offensive line was effortlessly keeping Campbell upright and unsullied, their counterparts on the Detroit side were doing their best imitation of light, flaky, fluffy French pastry: Kitna got sacked five times–once for a safety–and he was basically in the teeth of pursuit the entire game.
