We missed this when it happened a couple of weeks ago, but is it really ever too late to point and laugh at New Yorkers? We didn’t think so.
So, people are probably aware that Five Guys franchises are proliferating across the Eastern U.S. like nuclear weapons in central Asia. The greasy, peanut-laden fingers of our locally born burger stand have spread as far as Delafield, Wisconsin; Nashville, Tennessee; and Miami, Florida. They’ve even broken into New England, joining the miles of strip malls and parking-lot freeways that is Connecticut. But they’re not content to join in the fun of nail salons and Christmas Tree Shops; no. Five Guys have drilled deep and hit retail gold: Midtown Manhattan.
On November 2, Five Guys opened their first store in the borough of Manhattan, having already warmed up in New York with stores in Brooklyn, Queens, and tastemaking Schenectady. Having demanded their own, Manhattanites received the new store at 43 W 55th Street in true New York fashion: they went apeshit.
Midtown Lunch describes the scene when the restaurant flung its doors open to people who wanted burgers, even though it was “friends and family” day: a half hour wait for food. Eater.com covered the bedlam on the official opening day: a half hour wait in line to order, then an hour and a half wait for food after that. W. T. F.
We know New Yorkers turn out in a horde for new openings, but two hours for a Five Guys burger? C’mon people, that’s crazy. First, it’s not as if the hamburger is the new hotness; there is no shortage of menus in New York featuring the sandwich. Second, (and I’m ready to duck, here) the Five Guys hamburger isn’t even that good. A fat puck of two patties of leathery meat bound together with two pieces of melted plastic cheese, lubricated with a mixture of ketchup, mustard and grease, sliding around on a haphazard array of toppings (which are fresh, at least) and an insubstantial bun is not cause for a pilgrimage en masse. It’s not even cause for the hike plus a bus ride that our big brother made to try the burger at New York’s first outpost. Frankly, I’d rather sit on my couch and make a meal out of marshmallows and bourbon; eating a Five Guys burger is less an experience of eating a burger well-made, and more of an exercise of whorfing the thing down before it ejaculates grease and lettuce onto your lap. Five Guys’ biggest draw is birch beer on tap.
With that, we welcome Manhattan into the era of Five Guys. Two more shops, one on Bleecker Street and another on LaGuardia Place, will open up in January and February 2008, respectively. The newest local store will be at P.G. Plaza, but you can find their other locations here.
Photo from mrmatt.
