We need to have a talk, NBC. Because if you’re going to continue to print stories like this, we’re going to have to crack jokes about nearly every part of it.

Between Senators, Congressmen, and the rest of the public servants that work in the Capitol building, 5,300 tons of solid waste gets generated every year.

A little more if Joey Chestnut drops by for a visit, amirite?

While many say they want to cut down on government waste, the Architect of the Capitol wants to convert those throw-aways to good use. The Architect’s office announced a plan with a contractor on Thursday to convert all the solid waste that doesn’t get recycled into electricity, in a new “waste-to-energy” program.

Never has reading a 315,000-word piece of legal-talk been so potentially electric!

“Under this new contract, instead of being placed in landfills, the waste will be burned,” Architect of the Capitol Stephen T. Ayers said in a statement, “generating enough electricity to power an office building the size of the Dirksen or Longworth Building for several months.”

Thereby enabling Congress the extra energy it needs to keep up that 13 percent approval rating.

When the solid waste gets burned, it heats up water to produce steam, which in turn gets converted into electricity. According to the Architect, the project will make use of solid waste that would otherwise wind up in landfills. Ayers’ office said the program would complement the current recycling program.

Of course, all legislative proposals which would grant the District a voting representative in Congress will still be jettisoned directly to the filthiest landfill in New Jersey, as per previous policy.