Photo by m hoek

There’s a never-ending tension in D.C. between drivers, pedestrian, and cyclists. They each have their own rights and responsibilities, and they’re always complaining about the others not behaving. In some cases, however, they’re wrong.

Overheard of the Week

At 17th and R streets NW, Thursday evening:

A Mini Cooper makes a fast, last-minute turn onto 17th Street, scaring a woman legally crossing with a toddler. Other pedestrians also jump back onto the curb to avoid being hit.

Woman (maneuvering to protect child): “Hey, watch it!”

Male driver of vehicle slams his brakes, stopping in the crosswalk, and begins yelling unintelligible things in his car. Woman, child, and others begin crossing again.

Woman, speaking to the child quietly as they continue: “That’s why you have to be very careful when crossing the street, even if you have the walk light. Sometimes drivers aren’t careful, so you have to be.”

Driver parks illegally and rolls down his window to begin screaming at the woman, who’s now several buildings away: “What? You think I’m going to hit your ass? I ain’t going to hit you. Bitch! Jesus Christ, you people fucking overreact about everything! Calm the fuck down!” [Gets out of car, slams door] “Jesus Christ, like I don’t fucking see you! I hate people fucking yelling at me over every fucking little thing! It’s not that fucking big a deal! Christ!”

Driver continues yelling until he’s out of earshot about people who overreact.

After the jump: kids, engineer jokes, and the state of Columbia Heights.

As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to hear funny/weird things and send them in to us. You may notice there aren’t many this week because we didn’t get many submissions, so keep your ears open!

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Kids

Monday, January 2 about 11 a.m. at the Safeway on Columbia Rd NW:

Father and son are walking near check-out. The father is just ahead of the son, who is about five years old and muttering and whining under his breath.

Father: “Do we have a problem here?”
Son: “No, no problem.”
Father turns toward the checkout and son starts muttering again, then with a loud, teary voice says: “Yes we have a problem. You won’t buy me anything.”

Everyone nearby starts to laugh.

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They were busy screwing in light bulbs

Friday morning on the Red Line at Dupont Circle:

Two 60-something female tourists are discussing the intricacies and complications of building a metro system below ground. One says to the other, very seriously, “I wonder how many engineers it took.”

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Columbia Heights is over

About 8 p.m. New Year’s Eve at 14th and Irving Streets NW:

Three dressed-up 20-somethings get out of a Virginia cab.

Woman: “So are we in D.C.?”

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Holiday fun is on the way for some lucky kids!

At a Target in Alexandria on Christmas Eve:

A stressed-out mom with one kid hanging off her leg, one on her hip, and one in the cart is frantically looking at a shopping list in the grocery.

Stressed mom: “I really need to start writing down what everyone is allergic to…Or, I need to just stop caring what everyone is allergic to!” (Tosses a bag of almonds in her cart.)

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This may be a nerdy thing to say, but considering how Spaceballs and Metrorail operate, it makes sense

A recent Sunday on the Blue line between Pentagon City and Pentagon:

Train shoots off from the station and then quickly cones to a halt.

One tourist male to another: “At least we weren’t at LUDICROUS speed!”

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Some people think the world ends at the Capitol

Woman and man walking along G St NW:

Woman: “… and behind the Capitol are more neighborhoods!”
Man: “Really?”
Woman: “Yeah. Cute ones, too.”