Photo by every.seven

For whatever reason, parents seem to be saying a lot of interesting stuff in the past few weeks. Maybe it’s that more tourists are in town, or that the weather is nice so people can get out and about. In any case, here’s some good advice.

Overheard of the Week

At the Columbia Heights Giant:

A woman and a man in their early 20s are talking.

Woman: “You can’t get high or drunk at this party.”
Man: “You can’t tell me how to act at a party!”
Woman: “I mean, you can have a drink or smoke a ‘j’, but you can’t get drunk or totally high.”
Man: “I’ll do what I want! It’s a party!”
Woman: “It’s your daughter’s birthday party!”

After the jump, more parents, both awesome and terrible, a long-lost Seinfeld relative? and butts.

Overheard in D.C. relies on you to hear the good stuff and send it in to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. We may not use it immediately but we definitely will read it. Make sure you tell us where, when, who, and in what situation.

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You need to work on your lady-wooing skills:

In Bethesda Row after lunch on Friday:

Teenage boy to another teenage boy: “Don’t you hate guys who shower before they go hang out with girls?”

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The Barry chromosome?

On a Green Line train arriving at Gallery Place or Tuesday about noon:

Mid 20’s man in track suit and sunglasses with fluorescent green sides: “There’s not a day goes by that I don’t smoke weed. It’s in my DNA.”

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Too much Portlandia at such a young age:

A boy and his father are waiting in line to order sandwiches at a deli in Bethesda:

The is about 10 or 11 years old dressed in little league outfit. Peering over the menu, asks his father: “Is the prosciutto imported or domestic?”

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Photobombing takes a terrible turn:

Cherry blossom season on a Friday evening near the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial:

Crowds of people are taking pictures among the cherry blossoms.

A college-aged girl tells her boyfriend, “I just want to walk around here pulling out a giant wedgie in all these people’s pictures.”

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Well, Jerry Seinfeld did once date George Washington University student Shoshanna Lonstein:

Outside Union Station, a large group of middle-schoolers are waiting to cross the street to walk to the Senate office buildings.

Kid No. 1: “He’s wearing a man purse.”
Kid No. 2: “It’s a European man bag.”

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Does she already know what that is, or is he about to have an uncomfortable conversation?

Friday evening at the Tidal Basin:

A father is preparing to take a photo of his young son and daughter sitting near a cherry blossom tree.

Dad to 5 year old daughter: “Close your legs or you’ll look like a porn star!”

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The subway urine content is so much better in New York!

Family in a functional Metro elevator:

Tween girl: “This elevator smells funny.”

Mom: “Count yourself lucky—in another city you would be standing in pee.”

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This mom rules:

During the peak of the cherry blossom season near the Jefferson Memorial, about 7:30 p.m. one evening:

A 12- or 13-year-old tourist and his mom are holding hands while walking along the Tidal Basin just past the Jefferson Memorial. They come across one of the signs that says “Stop! Don’t pick the blossoms”

Son to mom: “Does that say stop?”
Mom: “Stop! Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with my brand new invention…”

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And finally, a tourist classic:

Friday afternoon at the Federal Triangle Metrorail station:

Dad (looking at the Metrorail map): “All I know is we’re gonna be taking the train to the Elephant Plaza.”
Teenage Daughter: “L’Enfant Plaza.”
Dad: “Look I don’t speak French, OK?”