Photo by Nikoo Yahyazadeh

There’s a lot of things said about mailmen: on the positive side, there’s the whole “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night” thing, but mostly people talk about post office employees being unhelpful and grumpy or “going postal.” Here’s one you probably don’t hear too often, however.

Overheard of the Week

Around 10 a.m. at corner of 11th and Euclid NW:

Middle-aged man crossing the street talking on his phone: “If you’re going to fuck the mailman, fuck him with your mouth.”

After the jump, tourists (of course), kids, and a Choose Your Own Overheard.

Overheard in D.C. relies on you to hear the good stuff. Send it to our special Overheard email address, and make sure to tell us all the context: who, where, when, and so on.

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If this depresses you, better keep the Cure and Jeff Buckley away.

In a Clarendon women’s restroom:

Two young women talking about the state of depression their other friend must be in with relationship troubles.

Woman 1: “I don’t know what is wrong with her, she has been in a moody funk.”
Woman 2: “Yeah, she needs to get over it. I think she’s been listening to too much Adele.”

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I kind of wish citizens could issue their own parking tickets sometimes

At Sixth Street and Pennsylvania Avenue SE on Thursday evening:

A man and a woman get out of their cars after parking.

Woman, gesturing to her car: “Hey, is it okay to park here?”
Man: “I don’t know. I drive a government vehicle, so they can’t tow me.”

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Thank you, professor

Memorial Day weekend on Saturday morning near Federal Center Metro:

Loud woman on phone discussing gay people: “Soon there will be more women than men. You know how there’s an X chromosome and a Y chromosome? The Y chromosome is turning female.”

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Bikers are hilarious: who knew?

At Pentagon Row on Friday evening during Rolling Thunder:

A large group of middle-aged Harley riders are quickly walking between Pentagon Row and Pentagon City Mall, led by a girl who seemingly knows where she is going. The large group passes three people in their mid-twenties dressed in suits and looking rather serious.

One member in the large group asks the leader loudly and in a thick Southern accent, “Are we gonna get to see real ghosts on this tour?!?!”

The three people look shocked… the large group bursts into laughter.

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No maybes about it

Saturday night on H Street:

One bro-ish guy is speaking to his companions: “Maybe I’m an asshole for saying it to him, but I could tell from all the way across the street that she was a whore. It’s his fault for marrying her.”

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They make a valid point

In a D.C. government office building elevator, Thursday before Memorial Day:

Man #1: “You staying in town this weekend?”
Man #2: “Yeah, I’m going to a few cookouts.”
Man #1: “I was invited to a cookout but I’m not going; it’s vegetarian. They ain’t got no meat or sodas.”
Man #2: “Can you even call that a cookout?”

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Sometimes brand names are important, but come on, really?

Near the Friendship Heights Metro:

Girl on her cell phone: “I want nice towels! I don’t want T.J.Maxx towels. I want Pottery Barn towels!”

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We stand corrected: Tourists are awesome

At a bike rental place in Old Town, where there’s a dish with Milkbones on a table, and a water bowl underneath:

Man tourist: “Honey, did you try those free cookies? They’re tasty.”
Woman tourist: “You mean the DOG biscuits???”
Man tourist: “….those are for dogs?”

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And finally, Choose Your Own Overheard. Was what worth it? Worth what? Tell us in the comments.

Outside Potbelly by the ballpark during lunchtime:

A lone 30’s-ish woman talking on her cellphone during her whole lunch. As she is walking by a table she says to the person on the phone “… well, I guess the shaking and peeing were worth it.”