Photo by KaronIt’s never fun when the Metro hits a snag during rush hour—trains back up, meaning more people pile on, waits get longer, it’s uncomfortable, and more. But be lucky you weren’t on this train.
Overheard of the Week
On the Orange Line towards Vienna last Friday:
There was a tree down on the tracks causing a massive back-up. The very crowded train made it to Foggy Bottom where more people pushed their way on.
A male in his 60s and a much younger woman push their way on. By the way they touched/interacted one would assume they were in a relationship.
Woman: “Please don’t use this crowded train as an opportunity to be creepy and touch. You need to be on your best behavior.”
Man: “Why? That is not fun.”
Woman: “Because, it scares people.”
(later on)
Woman: “We are lucky Americans bathe.”
Man: “Compared to who?”
Woman: “Dirty Europeans.”
Man: “You should ride the trains in Japan.”
Woman: “Why would I want to ride the train in Japan?”
Man: “Because they’re crowded like this all the time but everyone smells great.”
Woman: “I’d hate for our trains to be this crowded all the time. Who would enjoy that?”
Man: “Someone with transit fantasies, like me.” (grabs woman)
Woman: “Stop it, we can’t do this here.”
(later on)
Woman: “I can’t believe I am turning 30 this weekend. I am so old. I already have wrinkles by my eyes.”
Man: “Well, we know what can fix that.”
Together: “BOTOX!”
Man: “You are looking really old.”
Woman: “Stop it, you bastard.”
Man: “Why are you calling me a bastard?”
Woman: “It is the word of the day.”
Man: “Please call me your Mr. Love Bastard.”
And scene.
After the jump, coffee types, aggressively wrong tourists, and the Internet.
Hey, do you like Overheard in D.C.? If so, we rely on you to submit the good stuff. Make sure to use our special email address, and give us all the details: who, what, when, where, and in what situation.
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Aggressively wrong tourists, volume 1
At 16th & H, Lafayette Square (and in front of the White House)
A tourist family is looking at a map and talking amongst themselves.
Father to 20-something professional walking by: “Excuse me, what’s that building?”
Professional (slightly astounded): “The White House” (starts to walk away)
Father: “Are you sure?”
Mother: “I don’t think so, it doesn’t look like the White House.”
Professional: “It’s the White House” (Walks away)
Mother: “He’s wrong, that’s not the White House, I watched The West Wing.”
Father (Agreeing): “How do you live in this city and not know where the White House is?”
Family turns around, walks back up 16th Street; kids never see the White House.
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Starbucks is so confusing these days
Saturday, mid-day in Clarendon between two gelato shops:
A man in his late 20s: “Honestly, I always thought gelato was a type of coffee.”
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Religious dogma or Adams Morgan dance club? You decide.
On M St. in Georgetown:
Two college-aged guys walk past.
Guy 1: “It really doesn’t take much to get into heaven.”
Guy 2: “Yeah, you’re totally right. I’m not sure why I’m worried.”
Then a bit of mumbling, followed by
Guy 1: “Whatever, it is a good ID.”
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Rock fans can be judgmental, until they aren’t
At the 9:30 Club during Foster the People/Kooks/Kimbra concert:
Girl: “Look at that girl next to us. She’s such an Amy Winehouse wannabe.”
Boy: “I think that’s Kimbra.” (Both see her signing autographs)
Girl: “Ooh, do I have a pen? I want her autograph.”
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Cat GIFs?
At the Pride parade:
Mid-30s guy to his friend: “So I think I’m gonna sign up for Tumblr. And not just for the porn!”
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Uh oh, don’t tell Dan Snyder
On the Green line near Navy Memorial/Archives:
Two teenagers reading the Express: “And I’m still trying to figure out who ‘R G Eye Eye Eye’ is.”
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Aggressively wrong tourists, volume 2
On a Yellow Line train heading north:
Two middle aged tourists, one male and one female, obviously a couple. The man has been going on at length about the history of DC, mostly getting things wrong.
Man: “Mount Vernon was George Washington’s home, it’s located at Mount Vernon Square.”
Woman: “On the Metro map, Mount Vernon Square looks like it’s in the middle of DC. I thought Mount Vernon was in Virginia.”
Man (indignantly): “It’s at Mount Vernon Square. When we get there, we’ll just walk around looking for the signs.”
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The Church of Hard Knocks
At the Big Hunt:
30 something lady talking to her friend: “I had to find a new Confirmation mentor because mine couldn’t do it anymore because he was locked up for the rest of his life.”
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And finally: That’s a clown name, bro
Monday at lunch at the bar at the Penn Quarter Sports Tavern:
Business man in a suit talking to the bartender: “I was up in Boston for Friday’s game. I got some great pictures of Brian Harper’s first at bat in Fenway.”
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