Photo by ep_jhu

Why does no one ever move to the center of Metro railcars or buses? Are they oblivious, or just insensitive jerks? It’s mind-boggling, really. People ride the Metro and the bus every day and yet somehow can’t scoot five feet back when there’s tons of room behind them and everyone in front of them is crammed into a tiny amount of space. So we appreciate this bus driver’s attempt to teach them some basic Metro etiquette.

Overheard of the Week

On the S2 bus during Friday evening rush hour:

Bus driver: “Move on up folks. You’re gonna have to R. Kelly it up in here. A lil’ bump and grind ain’t never hurt nobody.”
(Silence on the bus.)
Everybody moves half a step towards the back.

After the jump, slang, enunciating, Metro (not enunciating on the Metro though, unfortunately for Judisherary Square) and interns.

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Do you mean bad as in good, or bad as in bad? Sick as in awesome, or as in ill? Ill as in…

On L Street downtown:

Young lady on her phone: “Wait, do you mean F-A-T or P-H-A-T?” [pause] “Oh! Oh, well thank you!”

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Is this specific to lesbians?

At Brasserie Beck:

Two young women walking to table: “Then I thought, what the hell? I’m a lesbian, so a good job and a house only make me more attractive.”

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Our future leaders, everyone

Outside the Foggy Bottom Metro:

Intern, talking louder than usual into her phone: “And I realized I wasn’t cheating on him, I was just cheating myself by being with him, you know? He didn’t deserve me in the first place.”

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Please read the newspapers more

Wednesday on the Yellow line, crossing the Potomac near the site of the 1982 Air Florida crash, near the Arland D. Williams Bridge

Older man: “A plane crashed into the bridge right there one day.”
Younger blonde woman: “A plane crashed there on Monday?’

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Bad avocado advice is the worst!!

A group of drunk guys coming out of Meridian Pint on a Sunday evening:

A group of drunk guys just came out of the bar. They’re sort of shouting as three of the guys go in one direction and Drunk guy #1 parts ways to walk toward the Safeway.

Drunk guy #1: “If I pick bad avocados, it’s your f***ing fault, man!”
Drunk guy #2: “Just pick ones that are squishy!”
Drunk guy #1: “Sounds like my Friday night!”

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Kids’ minds work in interesting ways

Thursday before noon at the intersection of Tenley Circle and Wisconsin Avenue:

A little girl of about six is waiting with her mom and her mom’s friend.

Little girl, shielding her eyes from the sun: “Sun, you go away right now before I punch you in the guts!”

Mom, without missing a beat: “If you punch him in the guts, you’re gonna lose your hand. Or turn to dust.”

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You’ve got to give him credit for trying to be hip

June 27th, around 6pm on the Red line leaving Rockville:

Train operator: “Next and final station, Shady Grove.”
Overweight middle-aged tourist dad to tween-age children: “Slim Shady Grove.”

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High-waisted? Oh…

Friday evening on the Orange line to Vienna during rush hour:

Two women talking about their most recent shopping trips. Woman 1 starts to explain: “I went to Target because I was high and wasted…”