Photo by iwantamonkey

Are you “terrified” of quotation mark abuse? Do quotation marks used for emphasis “haunt” you at night? Have no “fear,” for the “Quotation Mark Abuse Avenger” is here!

Overheard of the Week

In the YES Organic Market on 14th and V:

A female shopper asks three different store employees this same question: “Hi, I saw that your sign outside had ‘sushi’ in quotation marks, does that mean it’s not real sushi?”

(That said, it would be good if there were a Quotation Mark Abuse Avenger-signal in this city.)

After the jump, tourists with superpowers, oblivious kids, and dumpster divers. It’s summertime, after all. Don’t forget to keep sending in those tidbits of eavesdropped glory to our special email account. Include context if you can.

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It’s Amazing Eyesight Woman! Able to see 16 blocks and through buildings!!

Near the Capitol at First and Pennsylvania Avenue NW:

Tourist woman on a cell phone: “Hi, I’m in Washington DC! I’m looking at the White House right now.”

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You should know this, but it would be awesome

At the National Zoo on the walkway overlooking the elephant enclosure:

Mom is reading signs about elephants to her kid, then stops and turns to another mom next to her and asks, “Elephants don’t eat other animals… right?”

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Maybe we need more geology education?

At Luray Caverns:

About half an hour into a tour of the caverns, a child of about seven looks at his dad and exclaims: “It’s like we’re in a CAVE!”

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Life is so hard for the extremely annoying

During a late lunch at the Commissary:

30-something female speaking to 30-something female friend: “So I gave up my workout to take a slow walk with him and there was NO recognition on his part for the sacrifice I made…”

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While the “New York is better” stuff is always annoying, at least in this case, he’s right. People never move in enough on the bus or train.

Blue Line during rush hour on Thursday leaving Foggy Bottom:

Guy standing on the train proclaims a statement to someone, not sure who.

Guy: “You’re not close. I’m from New York, I’m used to people being a lot closer on the train.”

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Outside CD Cellar on Wilson Blvd. in In Clarendon on Sunday evening:

Two mid-to-late 20s guys in super-tight jeans and plaid shirts with scarves are talking. One has bare feet, the other Chuck Taylors.

One said to the other: “Hey, I am thinking about hitting up the Whole Foods dumpster before we head home, you down?”

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It does look like some kind of alien substance in the commercials

At a Subway restaurant in SW DC:

Customer, after seeing sign promoting Subway’s newest condiment: “Avocado, is that joint spicy?”
Subway employee making the customer’s sandwich: “I ain’t never try that shit.”

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Clearly the memories of the 1904 St. Louis games are still strong

While watching the Olympic opening ceremonies at Post Pub:

Waitress (with indignation in her voice): “So, what, the American Olympics are in London this year?”
Bar Patron 1: “It isn’t the American Olympics, sweetheart, its the Olympics.”
Waitress (sounding skeptical): “Yeah, but where did the Olympics start???”
Bar Patron 2: “In Greece, 2,000 years ago.”

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And finally, tourists can be funny, but only unintentionally.

On the Orange line train towards Vienna near Metro Center about 6:15 pm:

Train operator announces that the next stop would be McPherson Square… the sound
quality is typically unclear.

Tourist mother to family: “What did the driver just say?”
Tourist kid: “I don’t know. It was in Spanish.”