Photo by aziz
Tourist time is upon us, which means people from out of town see things that they might not have back home: ornate government buildings, monuments, museums, traffic circles, and big statues. There are also strange and foreign things—like streets and crosswalks.
Overheard of the Week
On the Mall around 14th and Constitution:
A group of high school girls are walking. One of the girls strayed from the group and started across the street without even looking for cars.
Girls: “Kelsey!!!” as they waved her back on the sidewalk.
Kelsey, a bit stunned: “Oh, we don’t have these in Arkansas.”
After the jump, tourists, inquisitive kids, dudes, and annoying people in general.
Overheard relies on you! Send in what you hear (including who, where and in what context) to our special Overheard in D.C. email address.
——
The key to teaching is to put it in terms they understand
Eastbound on the D6 bus, Monday evening:
The driver is narrating the route to a driver-in-training: “This will tell you each stop as you get to it. If you go off track, it stops talking. It’s just like a woman: it stops talking when she’s mad at you.”
——
National Lampoon’s D.C. Vacation
On 7th Street, heading towards the Mall:
A girl, about 6 or 7, is walking and pointing at random buildings: “Look, the White House! The Washington Monument! The White House! The Washington Monument!”
——
Helping people is a real drag sometimes
On the Green line after Columbia Heights:
College student talking to his friend: “I got these shoes from this fair trade shop in Ethiopia, and they came and they were like, three sizes too big. But what am I gonna do, like, send them back to Ethiopia?”
——
The end of our species is near
On Wisconsin Avenue near Prospect in Georgetown:
Middle-aged man, shouting: “Siri!! Where are The Exorcist stairs??!!”
——
Slumming it
On the 96 bus on a Tuesday morning:
Two Prada-wearing young women are getting on the bus. One looks confused, the other explains to her “So, on public transit, you put put your money in the machine next to the driver, like this…”
——
Dudebroman
Thursday, about 6pm in checkout line at Foggy Bottom Whole Foods:
Two students perusing chiller cabinet of beer.
Brah 1: “Nah, I don’t do Hoegaarden. I’m all about the Stella.”
Brah 2: “How about Yuengling?”
Brah 1: “No way, brah. I lost a golf game to a Yuengling exec last year. Don’t drink Yuengling no more.”
——
We wish there were new ones
In the line at the H&M in Metro Center:
A slow nondescript starts to play:
Teenage girl to friends: “Is this that new Salt n Pepa song? ‘Push it?'”
——
Way to hit them in their pocketbooks!
On the Portrait Gallery steps at F and 7th NW:
Dude 1: “Oh, the TaKorean truck is here today!!”
Dude 2: “No thanks. I’m boycotting everything Korean until they stop being crazy.”
——
Orange line, Farragut West on Friday:
Guy 1: “Dude, once we’re off the train, I gotta tell you about this date I had last night.”
Guy 2: “Yeah?”
Guy 1: “Lets just say, my twenties went out with a bang.”
Guy 2: “Literally?”
Guy 1: “Oh. No.”
——
Selective education
In line at CVS:
A dad with two young boys are in line in the feminine care products aisle. The boys are pointing out items in the aisle and asking their dad about them.
Boy to dad: “Are those big Band-Aids?”
Dad: “No, they are….
——
And finally, Soylent Green
Walking past the Marriott where an agricultural conference is being held:
Older man on his cell: “Mr. Chairman, I was listening to your comment about manure, and same as you described making chicken salad out of you-know-what, that’s what we’re doing here.”