Photo by Alan Zilberman.
By DCist Contributor Alan Zilberman
In what feels like ages ago, the pork-tastic restaurant The Pig opened up on the 14th Street NW corridor before all the rapid recent development. It’s been a reliable spot since then, with a surprisingly diverse menu (for a restaurant with that name, anyway). Open for lunch and dinner (and yes, brunch), The Pig is a welcome alternative for those who’d rather stick with what’s delicious instead of what’s hip. It’s a smaller restaurant, with a modest number of tables and even fewer bar stools, yet the bathroom is a perfect of example of how to preserve elegance without too many bells and whistles.
+5 for homey wallpaper: The wallpaper in The Pig’s bathroom has two motifs: either pictures of giant pigs or vintage ads and newspapers. This kind of new-retro style is popular in D.C. bathrooms—particularly on 14th Street—and somehow it gives the impression you’re reading on the toilet. Granted, the print is too small when you’re actually sitting down, but I only ever look at my iPhone anyhow.
-1 for lack of supply: There are two unisex toilets at The Pig, and that’s it. As noted earlier, this is not a big spot so it’s not a huge problem; still, lines are frequent. One of these days, I’m going to create an optimal bathroom/toilet ratio based on a number of factors including size, number of patrons, type of cuisine, and average number of drinks consumed per customer. I’m relying on instinct until then, and my gut tells me I need to use the bathroom, like, RIGHT NOW.
+3 for outstanding toilet paper supply: When I went to the Pig, there were four rolls of toilet paper available (albeit at different lengths for each roll). Moreover, the rolls were perpendicular to the floor, not the standard parallel, which gives the user slightly more control on how many squares per wipe they use. I don’t know to what extent this toilet paper access is deliberate, but its ease of use is worth celebrating.
-1 for a latch that does not exactly inspire confidence: The little tug on a locked bathroom door is part of the social contract; it’s a momentary invasion of privacy, sure, but there’s no other nonverbal way to communicate between two people that the bathroom is occupied. Maybe it’s confirmation bias, but I find that men and women alike prefer strong locks on their bathrooms doors. While functional, The Pig’s bathroom lock does not exactly inspire trust. They mitigate this problem with a discreet sign that reads, “To ensure your privacy please lock the door,” but I’d prefer a lock that makes it all but certain.
+1 for neat-looking flood lights: Surrounded by steel, the over-the-mirror light in the bathroom is a re-purposed flood lamp. It offers a warm ambiance that, um, helps move things along.
+2 for adequate paper towels: There’s no ultra-powerful hand drier, which is disappointing, but paper towels are totally functional. Although I wish paper towels and toilet paper were in a perfect one-to-one ratio, I’ll take paper towels over an inadequate hand drier that leaves my hands moist.
Overall score: +9. The Pig does nothing revolutionary or eye-popping. It is simple, clean, and pleasant. There is no novelty here, which is just as fine since I’m usually in a hurry to return to my meal or cocktail. In other words, it is a perfect bathroom without calling attention to itself. It is home.
