(Getty Images/Chip Somodevilla)
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
With everything that’s going on in the world, there’s been a lot of talk about diplomatic responses, sanctions, red lines and the like. Maybe President Obama just needs to deploy some more soft power.
Overheard of the Week
On the Yellow Line:
Two young sisters are fighting. Their mother turns to them: “You know Sasha and Malia would never behave like that in public!”
Girls immediately stop fighting.
After the jump, other cities, kids, and smart dudes.
As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
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Fomenting intercity rivalry
Sunday afternoon on a Red Line train with the distinct “fish market” brake odor:
A woman yells to no one in particular: “Someone pissed! Trust me, I grew up in Philly. I know that smell.”
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Cemetery for jerks, maybe
On the 32 Metro bus down Wisconsin Avenue at rush hour:
A couple of college students chatting, then suddenly clear as day: “This is not a cemetery. This is the Russian embassy!”
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You said it
At George Washington’s historic home, Mount Vernon:
A couple looking at an exhibit.
Woman: “Sounds like George Washington was a java junkie. And he loved ice cream and hoecakes. No wonder he had fake teeth!”
Man: “Well, who can turn down a good hoecake?”
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Thanks, Professor Genius
On a Circulator bus on Friday night:
Guy to girl, very authoritatively: “That’s in Crimea, which is not even in Kiev.”
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USPS: Use this from now on, please
At Mazza Gallerie on a snow day:
Security guard to mailman: “Wow, you’re working today?”
Mailman: “Yeah. I don’t get a day off rain, shine, or hell no!”
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Kids are so dumb
In Capitol Hill:
A little boy around two-and-a-half, covering his eyes with one hand but still peeking out: “I’m hiiiiiiidin’!”
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I hope they like FBI t-shirts and neon hats
In Chinatown:
Tourist asking for directions: “Excuse me, please, which way is National Mall? I want shopping!”
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The future is upon us
During a recent Blue Line morning commute into downtown:
A high school-aged girl on a school trip with her classmates asks a nearby 50-something man in a suit what he does for a living.
Man: “I work for the USDA, the Department of Agriculture.”
Girl: “Oh, that’s what I want to do!”
Man gives her puzzled look.
Girl: “Because I really want to work in marijuana!”
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There’s a good reason you are where you are
Outside D.C. Superior Court:
Three guys are talking: “Yo. She was sleeping, and her bag was wide open. I could see her cash and iPhone. I could have bagged her. But I don’t do that.”
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Kids are watching too many sassy Disney shows or something
In the Home Depot parking lot:
A frazzled-looking dad grabs a cart, then turns to his son, who is about four-years-old.
Dad: “C’mon bud, time to get in the cart!”
The boy stares blankly at Dad for a beat. Dad moves to pick up boy.
Boy: “Are you kidding me right now?!”
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And finally, these people actually sound pretty fun
Near 5th and K streets NW, Saturday morning:
A group of three 20-something guys and a girl are talking.
Girl: “Now I know that the capital of Maryland is Annapolis!”
Guy: “Wait … how did you not know that?”
Girl: “Well, I always thought it was Baltimore. Did I ever tell you about the first time I went to Baltimore? I was driving around looking for the capitol building and was wondering why I couldn’t find it.”
During the same conversation, two guys are discussing which liquor stores they frequent.
Guy: “I prefer the liquor store by us. It was only robbed once.”
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