Photo by Elvert Barnes
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
As you may have noticed, it’s cherry blossom time. The little pink thingies are everywhere, followed by tourists and local gawkers. Most people are thrilled that the weather is good while the blossoms are out, but some folks aren’t as excited.
Overheard of the Week
At the Tidal Basin on Wednesday:
A busload of kids is walking.
One girl says to the rest: “Why don’t they cut down some of these trees so it is easier to walk around here?”
After the jump, tourists, buses, and lame people.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
——
Good luck with that
Early Friday morning on First Street near Union Station:
A man in a pickup truck gets a guy on the sidewalk’s attention.
Man in truck: “Excuse me, sir!”
Walking man: “Yes?”
Man in truck: “Would you happen to know where all of the construction vehicles are?” Walking man, who looks confused: “All over the city!”
Man in truck laugh: “I’m late for work!”
——
Good reason to vote: cancel out people like this
On the X2 Metro bus on the night of the primary election:
An older gentleman in his 40s or 50s is speaking to another guy about the same age who is decked out in Muriel Bowser campaign gear.
First guy: “I didn’t vote for her. Women shouldn’t be in certain positions of power. They get all emotional, and with her in office we won’t get a new football stadium.”
——
A lot of people seem to have the same idea
On a packed 42 bus at midnight on Friday:
Twenty-something girl talking with her friends: “Glaring at people is my hobby. Especially in the mornings.”
——
Millennials™
Two 20-something girls on the Orange Line at the Smithsonian station on Saturday, April 5:
Girl 1: “I am not going to drink as much tonight as I did last night.”
Girl 2: “I didn’t want to. They just kept handing it to me. Do I look pregnant in this picture?”
——
Let’s just assume he means D.C.
On the sidewalk outside of the International Monetary Fund during their 2014 Spring Meeting:
A middle-aged man in a business suit exits the conference and shouts out, “I love capital!”
——
Or D.C. Cab
In the taxi queue at Union Station, at around 12:15 a.m. on Friday:
Two tourists straight off a train with all their bags: “Oh my god, I can’t believe we’re here. I feel like I’m in Scandal.”
——
Hmm
At Filter Coffeehouse on Sunday afternoon:
Barista and friend of barista discussing pizza toppings: “You hate pineapples for the same reason that the terrorists hate our freedom.”
——
You may be right
On a very crowded 16X bus:
Women 2 to Woman 1: “What color is your bag? Is that navy or charcoal?”
Women 1: “Charcoal. Navy is navier.”
——
Or maybe funny guys at this office building
In an elevator in an office building near L Street and Connecticut Avenue NW:
Middle-aged man 1: “I know a guy who says he knows something that’s harder to find than a missing airplane.”
Middle-aged man 2: “What?”
Middle-aged man 1: “A tender piece of meat on his wife’s roast.”
——
The police are still investigating
Walking past the Petersen House (a.k.a. the house where Lincoln died):
A young couple notices black and yellow “Do Not Cross” police tape wrapped around one of the railings leading up to the front door.
Woman: “Oh yeah, that’s cause he totally died there.”
——
And finally, there’s a Chick-fil-A in Crystal City!?
Two 20-something males wearing suits sitting outside Chick-fil-A on Crystal Drive at lunchtime on a Friday:
A songbird is sitting on the chair next to one of the guys.
Guy 1: “Ah! I don’t know what to do!”
Guy 2, laughing at his friend panicking: “You need to get Snapchat.”
