Photo by Inspiration D.C.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
D.C. loves brunch. Or is it millennials that like brunch? Or is it both, thus creating a perfect storm of day-drinking over French toast and Eggs Benedict?
Overheard of the Week
At Bar Pilar:
Woman on the prospect of moving to West Virginia: “I don’t love brunch the way other people love brunch, but I love it enough to not move there.”
After the jump, Fourth of July, tourists who aren’t funny, and government types.
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Aww
At a Starbucks:
A 10- or 13-year-old girl talking to her 7- or 8-year-old brother: “I don’t like coffee. It tastes like old people.”
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True D.C. romance
In an office building elevator:
Woman 1: “I think he’s so sexy! His sweet honey voice.”
Woman 2: “Oh yeah! I see that. I’d listen to a webinar with him any day.”
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To the point
Outside a Falls Church Starbucks:
A middle-aged guy is hanging outside asking for spare change while spouting Bible verses.
Man, shaking his cup: “God is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
After a few people pass by ignoring him, he yells: “I’m going through some trials and tribulations, motherfuckers!”
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America!
Fourth of July at the Old Soldiers Home:
Surrounded by families waiting for the fireworks to begin, a bro shouts: “And that’s how Tort works, motherfucker!”
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Do you really see that often though? Somebody is scared.
Right by the Smithsonian Metro stop, during the Folklife Festival on July 3rd. Peak tourist season:
Middle-aged guy with a Texas/southwest accent, talking to the people in his group: “Just ’cause you see a guy in a leather vest and chaps doesn’t mean he’s a cowboy here.”
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Teaching patriotism young
Heard at Jefferson Memorial on Fourth of July:
Father to energetic three-year-old: “No. We don’t hit with the flag. We just wave it. … Well, I guess you could wrap yourself in it, but we definitely don’t hit with it.”
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But do they date werewolves?
In Bloomingdale:
Eight(ish)-year-old boy playing with other neighborhood kids:
“Mosquitoes are vampires ’cause they suck your blood. I don’t know a lot of things but I know this. Mosquitoes … are vampires.”
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We must stop global warming
On M Street near Capriotti’s:
Two late-30s women slowly walking, both wearing what seemed to be normal office attire.
First woman: “Girl, I’ve had to change my underwear three times today because of these pants and this heat.”
Second woman mumbles something in agreement.
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And finally.
In a government building downtown:
Two early 20s women are chatting in an elevator full of people.
Woman 1: “How was Afghanistan?”
Woman 2: “Oh my God, it was awesome! I fucked three guys!”
Woman 1 is quiet.
Woman 2: “Yeah! Two were in the military and one wouldn’t tell me what he did! You know what that means.”
Woman 1 is increasingly embarrassed.
Woman 2: “Yeah! And I went to a frat school! It was like that.”
Woman 2 gets off the elevator.
Older man: “Well, she’s not wrong.”
