Photo by Mike Licht
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
School is back in session, which means important lessons and parent-kid time. But some lessons are better than others.
Overheard of the Week
Waiting to use a crosswalk near the Ballston metro:
A dad is walking his five-year-old daughter to school.
Dad: “What do you say if someone says something stupid to you?”
Daughter [shrugs]: “Whateva.”
Dad: “Yes, you say, ‘whateva.'”
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After the jump, lots of millennials and some non-millennials behaving like they were.
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They are truly amazing
On the M Street Bridge between Georgetown and the West End:
Two college-age or 20-something women, one wearing pants and one wearing a short skirt, are walking with a guy.
Woman in pants: “I just love the ‘swish’ you get from wearing pants!”
Neither of her companions responds.
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Are you?
Brunch at Kafe Leopold:
Canadian dude in his mid 30’s: “Ottawa is the butthole of Canada… though it is a great place to have affairs.”
A little later the busboy drops off their entrees and waitress stops by to check in.
Waitress: “Can I get anyone ketchup or hot sauce for their eggs?”
Dude: “No, we are classier than that.”
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A new form of tourism?
At BWI:
Two 30-something nerdy businessmen are waiting in line for bagels, presumably on a layover.
One of them: “Ahh Baltimore. That’s where all that shit went down. Let’s go to that Walgreens!”
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Whoever does real estate for ABP must be rich
At Au Bon Pain at 13th and L Streets NW:
Woman (in surprised voice): “Oh. You’ve been here before?”
Man: “Yeah.”
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Time to enjoy nature
At the National Arboretum on Sunday afternoon:
College age woman is talking to friends near the Herb Garden.
Woman: “Did you find out if the Arboretum has free wifi?”
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Come for the board games, stay for the ambiance
At the Board Room in Dupont:
A 30-something male bartender to an early 20s woman deciding on what drink to order:
Bartender: “Tequila makes me want to smash my face into a wall. But, like, in a good way.”
Customer: “Uh… ok.”
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Right
On the Red Line to Silver Spring near the Dupont Circle stop, 5 p.m. on Sunday:
Four or five women in their early to mid 20s are talking. One starts loudly giving her friends advice about tattoos: “Tattoos are like scars you get to choose.” Friends murmur in response.
Later: “For the rest of my life, Harry Potter will be so damn important to me.”
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Eat at home?
Two men walking on 9th Street NW early evening discussing dinner options:
Man 1: “Oh, Convivial!”
Man 2: “I have a feeling whatever we get there will be not so great and definitely overpriced.”
Man 1: “But it’s gotten good reviews!”
Man 2: “So has Le Diplomate and that food is crap, too.”
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See above, it’s not just millennials
On Labor Day at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial:
A woman is sitting on a bench, her husband is walking away.
Husband: “Well, I came to see memorials, not to sit on a park bench posting Facebook comments…”
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Theologians at work
Brunch at Kafe Leopold:
Five bros and a woman are talking about last night:
Bro 1: “We baptized him in Dupont Circle last night.”
Bro 2: “Yeah, he’s no longer Sikh.”
Woman: “How’d you do that?”
Bro 1: “Dunked his head in the fountain and said some religious shit.”
Bro 2: “It’s too bad, being Sikh is way better than being Catholic.”
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Being polite to his coworkers so they don’t have to smell? Or something more nefarious?
In Dupont:
Two 20-something men in business attire walking in opposite directions in a crosswalk during business hours. They recognize each other and instinctively fist bump.
One: “What’s up, man?”
Two: “Oh, just heading to our favorite hotel men’s room.”
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