Photo by number7cloud.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Your not particularly intrepid Overheard in D.C. editor is filing this post from Nationals Park, as playoff season is here. Home team fever has swept our usually fairly chill sports town, and a lot of people seem to be on board. Bandwagon or not, welcome!
Overheard of the week
In a fully packed men’s room at Nationals Park after the game on September 30:
Announcer on radio, which is playing in men’s room: “Was it just me, or did this game have a special crowd? They are really excited for the playoffs and made a special atmosphere in here.”
Man peeing at one of the urinals: “Nah, it was them dollar hot dogs.”
After the jump, more Nats, bros and dummies.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.
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Culture!
At the free Joshua Bell concert at Union Station, where he played with students:
Woman No. 1, who is white: “Is that Yo-Yo Ma?”
Woman No. 2, who is Asian: “No, it’s Joshua Bell.”
Woman No. 1: “No, the cellist.”
Woman No 2.: “I think he’s playing with his students today.”
Woman No. 3, who is Asian: “I don’t think Yo-Yo Ma would play accompaniment to Joshua Bell anyway.”
Woman No. 1: “Are you sure that’s not Yo-Yo Ma?”
Me: “Yes, he would be much older and bigger.”
Woman No. 3 whispering to woman No. 2: “Of course, an Asian cellist must be Yo-Yo Ma.”
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Please never come back
At Nationals Park last week for a game against the Mets:
A mom and her son were taking in the first game of the Nats doubleheader seated above the Mets bullpen.
Son, looking back toward the flag on concourse level: “Mom, what flag is that white flag with the three stars and red bars?”
Mom, now looking back toward the flag: “I’m not sure what flag that is, but I should probably know what flag that is.”
Son: “Maybe it’s a South American flag.”
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You didn’t?
Late evening commute on the Silver Line to the Wiehle-Reston East station, 8:15 p.m. on a Tuesday:
A professional woman in her 40s is talking to two colleagues in a totally earnest tone: “Did you know you could spend all day on YouTube looking at funny animal videos?”
Later: “I think New York is becoming less unique. I think it’s becoming just like us! Now they have The Gap. Just like us! I would ask the locals, ‘Is it my imagination?’ And they agreed. The people are becoming more nice. I only saw one fight while I was there, between a bus driver and a cab.”
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Totally
On 13th Street in Columbia Heights:
A large group of bros is walking.
One cracks open a can of beer: “I don’t even drink.”
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Future scientists
College-age group of women, riding the Red Line, departing at Dupont Circle:
Woman 1: “What are, like, amphibians anyway? They’re so random.”
Woman 2: “Aren’t they ex-stink?”
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Reading is fundamental
At Eastern Market on a Saturday morning:
A woman who appears to be from out-of-town is with her sister.
Out-of-town woman sees a poster for “Barracks Row Heritage Trail” and reads out loud: “Barack Row. … Is that where he lived?”
Sister: “No, that’s Barracks Row by the Marine Barracks. Not where Obama lived.”
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L’Enfant confusion
In front of the Washington Post offices at 15 and L streets NW:
Two 30-something guys in business casual dress.
Business guy, utterly astonished: “Wait, the state streets are diagonals? Oh shit!”
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Better than rabid and wielding a hatchet
A couple leaving the 9:30 Club:
Member of the couple: “…because surprise Ira Glass is the best kind of Ira Glass.”
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Bros
At the L’Enfant Plaza Metro station:
Two bros in Nats gear on the platform when one mumbles something.
Bro 1 mumbles.
Bro 2 perks up: “What? Two chicken tenders?! Dude, I want some chicken tenders!”
Bro 1: “No dude, not chicken tenders. Two chicks on Tinder.”
Bro 2: “Oh. … Well, I still want some.”
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You would be a jackass
Saturday Night at Madam’s Organ:
Guy sitting at the second floor bar, talking loudly over music to girl on the next stool: “If I had a dollar for every time a girl has said I’m not going to sleep with you tonight …”
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Too spicy?
September 10th inside a Thai restaurant on Columbia Pike in Arlington:
A well-dressed, 20-something woman standing outside the restaurant talking on her cell phone: “It’s like when you go to the bathroom [she pauses] and you get that really relaxed feeling.”
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Jon Voight is Nic Cage’s dad?
Tourists at the National Archives:
Tourist: “I wonder if that thing they showed in National Treasure is true.”
