Photo by Zach Montellaro
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The Silver Line is here! It’s shiny and new! You can go part of the way to Dulles sort of! It’s great!
Overheard of the Week
Monday night at the new Wiehle-Reston East Metro station:
A 20-something woman carrying a big suitcase asks a Metro worker, who is fiddling with the escalator, if he’s turning it on so she can go down.
Metro worker: “I can’t get it to turn on.”
Young woman: “How is it broken? This is a brand new Metro stop!”
Metro worker: “It’s Metro. Enough said.”
After the jump, cabs, the X2 bus, and tourists.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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Funny guy or moron?
At the Trader Joe’s on 14th Street after work:
A dad in a suit and his little girl, maybe six-years-old, have some cookie dough.
Little girl: “Daddy, before we make the cookies can I have some cookie dough?”
Dad: “No honey. It has raw eggs in it, and that’s how you get Ebola.”
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Call Ron Linton!
In front of the L2 Metrobus stop across from the National Zoo at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday:
A red D.C. taxi pulls up. A young professional woman opens the door and asks: “Are you an Uber?”
The driver’s response is inaudible. She gets in, and they drive away.
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No wonder countries don’t want to make structural reforms
Two mid-40s men in suits walking in front of the World Bank mid-day:
Man 1: “She will bite your balls!”
Man 2 laughs.
Man 1: “With her teeth!”
Man 2, laughing: “That’s why I love this job.”
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Oh, that one
Silver Line to Wiehle-Reston East, around midnight:
Guy to girlfriend about their plans: “It’s the Wednesday that’s before Thursday.”
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Your regular X2 update
Tuesday night on a packed X2 Metrobus heading east after the Concert for Valor:
An older woman at the back of the bus is shouting.
Woman: “BUS DRIVER! I’M GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE! CALL AN AMBULANCE!”
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Too wet
At CVS at 13th and Pennsylvania Avenue NW:
Employee 1: “Why didn’t you take one of my free water bottles earlier?”
Employee 2, holding bottle of Dasani: “You know I don’t like Poland Spring.”
Employee 1 nods knowingly.
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That must be a new menu option
In line at Chop’t in Chinatown:
Woman on cell phone: “That guy just literally chopped the shit out of my salad.”
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Jesus Christ, people
On the mall during the Concert for Valor as a promotional video from National Park Service is playing on the big screens:
Teenage girl 1: “What exactly is the National Mall? Are there like stores and stuff?”
Teenage girl 2: “You’re standing on it.”
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Spoiler alert
Coming out of Citizenfour documentary screening at E Street Cinema:
Woman leaving the theater: “I really liked it! The guy who played Snowden was great.”
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Tell me where this mythical Chipotle is
At National Airport:
Two 20-somethings standing in the snaking line to go through the security checkpoint. One turns to the other: “This line goes pretty fast, but not as fast as Chipotle.”
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