Photo by L. Shanley.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
It’s getting into spring, which means tourists are here, descending on the cherry blossoms and FBI t-shirt vendors like a plague of locusts (a plague of locusts that spend money, at least). It also means we’ll hear a lot of these questions a bunch of times this season.
Overheard of the Week
Van Dorn Metro station, Thursday around 5:30 p.m.:
Two women, obviously first-time Metro riders, are trying to exit through the gates, but their new SmartTrip cards have insufficient funds.
Woman 1 (to station manager): “But we put five dollars on them this morning!”
Station manager tries not to laugh.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, tourist kids, hot dates, and bus excitement.
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No wonder housing prices are going up
Outside the Columbia Heights Metro:
A guy in his late twenties is talking on his cell phone: “Oh yeah, she just moved into a new mid-rise. Her room isn’t even big enough for her ego.”
——
Both?
On the 63 bus to Federal Triangle, 6:57 a.m.:
Female rider to male rider (seemed to be friends): “Should I eat the DiGiorno Pizza I have in my bag or wait until the cafeteria opens at 8? That’s my dilemma.”
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You’re not wrong
On the 96 bus heading east through Capitol Hill during Friday evening rush hour:
Sixty-something-year-old man: “You get a rowhouse in Capitol Hill—You walk in the front door, and you’re in the backyard. You pay $300,000 for a water closet!”
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Mom hates freedom
A group of young conference-goers walking past the tourist shops in Metro Center:
“Yo, I got my American flag tie at one of the shops around here. It’s, like, my favorite tie now. But my mom wouldn’t let me bring it cause she said it was inappropriate.”
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Robo-girl
M Street In Georgetown:
College girl 1: “I haven’t heard from Angie in a while, have you talked to her?”
College girl 2: “Angie isn’t a real person.”
College girl 3: “Yeah, all she wants to do is go to SoulCycle with her boyfriend.”
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D.C. conversations
At a bar near Navy Yard:
Workers talking about federal employment: “An undergraduate degree is like the minimum of checkboxes, do you have an undergraduate degree … Are you alive?”
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Live music is exciting
On the balcony of the 9:30 Club during the Rachel Yamagata show:
Young woman to friend: “I used to be short and small, but now I just grow out and not up.”
(Later)
Same woman: “He’s sexy and all … But I’m too lazy to have sex.”
(Later)
Same woman: (Shouting to Rachael Yamagata): “Love you!”
Rachael Yamagata: “Love you back!”
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Tourist season is upon us.
On the Metro during morning commute at Federal Triangle:
A tourist family is sitting together with four adults who must have been three siblings and the wife of the male sibling and two girls, aged about 12 and 8.
One adult sister to the other about her coffee addiction: “Well, I could be addicted to worse things like the … (loudly whispers) Mary Jane! Well do people actually come into the ER with a bag and say ‘I’m addicted to the reefer’? I guess that’s not really a good example.”
(A bit later)
The adults are joking around about the brother being adopted and how he has different genes.
Brother: “You wish you can fit that fat ass into these jeans!”
(A bit later)
The eight-year-old girl sitting next to the overhearer: “Dad, you know how I hate sitting next to weird strangers…”
