Photo by Samer Farha
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
People from outside D.C. have a lot of opinions about our fair city. Politicians love complaining about Washington, regular folks think we’re all East Coast elitists, and so on. Maybe it’s all true.
Overheard of the Week
At a bar on the Hill:
Two women from Texas are talking.
Upon learning they were from Texas, the bartender mentions the Texas governor calling up the state guard to monitor U.S. military exercises after rumors they were there to declare martial law.
Women 1 to the bartender: “He is just trying to protect our interests.”
Bartender walks off.
Women 1 turns to her friend: “I am so tired of these Washington assholes. The entire United States would fail without Texas. They would never be able to make it without Texas’s money.”
After the jump, the flyover, bros, and summer shenanigans.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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We are doomed
Corner of Constitution and 15th Streets NW, tourist family watching WWII flyover:
Boy about eight years old, the middle of three kids, starts crying as others in the family raise phones and cameras to take photos.
Dad: “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Kid: “I don’t have anything to look through.”
Dad: “Use your eyes.”
Kid: “I don’t like to use my eyes.”
Dad hands kid his phone.
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No, dummy, that was when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor
At the National Mall during today’s Victory in Europe Day celebrations:
Man on cellphone: ” ‘Cause it’s D-Day!”
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Oh, Wonderland
At Lou’s City Bar after the Wonderland Sundress Fest last weekend:
Two guys in their mid-twenties sit down.
Guy 1: “I could’ve gone more risque.”
Guy 2: “It looked good in the back.”
Guy 1: “No I mean, like, my legs and in the front.” (Pulls out phone and looks at pictures from the day.) “Dah, none of these are going to be a profile picture.”
Guy 2: “Yeah, your boobs look saggy.”
Guy 1: “Yeah, I have weird pecs.”
Guy 2: “No, no, it’s how the dress is cut.”
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Next, don’t talk to anyone
On Connecticut Avenue NW near Woodley Park on Sunday afternoon:
One twenty-something guy to another: “I’m slowly becoming an East Coaster. Yesterday I didn’t even hold the door for somebody!”
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Bye
In Georgetown:
A young woman in full derby attire, clearly still drunk from Gold Cup, runs across the street blatantly disregarding oncoming traffic, holding up her hand to all the cars, screaming: “‘SCUSE ME FELICIAAAAAS!!!”
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Oh really?
At Independence and 1st Streets SW around 12:20 p.m., two men in their early twenties are watching the WWII aircraft fly:
Man 1: “Why are they flying so slow?”
Man 2: “I don’t know. But they have to be pretty old.”
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Pleasant conversation
Walking down P Street in Logan Circle on Thursday night:
Bro: “So, Germany has come to terms really well, like, with the Holocaust and stuff?”
German woman: “Yeah…”
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And finally: that’s interesting
At the bottomless brunch buffet at Toro Toro on Sunday:
A man and woman in their early twenties are wandering around the buffet, choosing items.
Man stops in front of a bowl of guacamole and hesitatingly starts to put a dab of it on his plate.
Man: “I’m trying to get myself to like guacamole.”
Woman: “Oh? What’s your problem with it—taste or texture?”
Man: “Color.”
