Photo by Beau Finley.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Sometimes it may seem like Metro isn’t making a lot of progress. Ok, all the time.
On Tuesday on a Red Line train during rush hour:
Old man to young woman: “I rode this train in 1974.”
Young woman: “Oh wow. And it looks the same?”
Old man: “They haven’t changed a bit … but the fare has gone up a lot!”
After the jump, tourists, Marines, bros, and more.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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OMG, besties!
At Jazz in the Garden:
Apparent recent grads from area schools were talking, having had a good amount of sangria.
Woman 1: “My boyfriend is still in school. He is a Chi Phi.”
Woman 2: “Oh yeah, I am the girl whose hair caught on fire at the Chi Phi semi formal last year!”
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Oohrah!
Two (possible) Marines in Eastern Market at Medium Rare for brunch:
Marine 1: “Dude, we should just get really drunk and go to Mr. Vernon.”
Marine 2: “Yeah, and fuck with George Washington.”
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Our Lady of Buy a Map
On the Mall:
Group of tourists walking past the Smithsonian Castle. A lady pointing to it says, “What church is this?”
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2024 isn’t that far away
East side of the Capitol Building:
A possibly local man escorting another man and what appear to be their two teen sons on a tour of the area.
Boy, looking at the Library of Congress: “What’s that on top?”
Man: “I think it’s the Olympic Torch.”
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Dude
Friday morning at an uncomfortably packed Dunkin Donuts at 14th and L Streets NW:
Four bros, two wearing SEC-school logoed polo shirts.
Server: “Ham, egg, and cheese!”
Bro 1 (amazed): “Ham, egg, and cheese!”
Bro 2: “Must be on the secret menu!” (It is on the regular menu.)
Bro 1: “It’s like a speakeasy!”
Bro 3 (maybe jokingly): “I literally only go to speakeasies.”
Bro 1: “What?”
Bro 3: “I’m like the face of speakeasies. “
Bro 4: “I went to Pearl Dive last night. It was practically a speakeasy.”
Bro 1: “What?”
Bro 4: “Like, I went upstairs, and they were like, ‘What are you doing here?’ And I said, ‘Uh, I’m here for SEC night.'”
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Must be nice
At a Thai place in Shaw:
Young woman in pink, apparently having dinner with her fiancé and in-laws: “So we thought, do you want a down payment on a house or a bigger diamond? Well, the house can wait. The diamond cannot.”
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This makes me think of those bottle-sized wine glasses
In the line at the Rosslyn Chipotle:
Twenty-something man to friend: “Ugh. I’m so hungover! … I had book club last night.”
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Right
Two women in their early thirties talking on a hot Saturday at Banneker Pool:
Woman 1 (in a hippie/Valley Girl tone after having just attempted to get into the water): “Like sometimes I seriously think that I am cold-blooded. Like … I’ll touch something that is cold, and I’ll be like ‘wow, that’s cold’.”
Woman 2: “Oh my gosh, right?”
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Do what now
Monday morning, in line at Starbucks in NoMa:
A mid-thirties hipster is pontificating on all manner of things: “Maryland is the state that all the cool wars forgot. I mean, the Battle of Baltimore was a pretty big deal but nobody cares because it was in Baltimore.”
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Yeah, good luck with that
Posted on a housing-related Facebook group:
“New to D.C. with new position. Looking for a Studio or 1 BR $800/mo by late August. Ideally placed steps from coffee, restaurants, shopping. Easy street parking.”
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…
Couple in their sixties walking in the neighborhood between Tenleytown and Van Ness:
Man: “How many walls are there?”
Woman: “Oh, it’s all walls!”
