Photo by Drew McDermott.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Educating people about the world is an important part of public school system. So is educating them about their city.
Overheard of the Weekend
At a Columbia Heights H2 bus stop:
Teen 1, pointing at a D.C. flag flying across the street: “What flag is that?”
Teen 2, with confidence: “Canada.”
(A few minutes later, they correct themselves by recognizing the pattern on their own D.C. identification cards.)
After the jump, oblivious tourists paying attention, bros, and mean girls.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
——
Says you
At Union Station Metro, Wednesday at lunch hour:
Early thirties male in a three-piece suit to early thirties female colleague, boarding a train:
“…Because the Metro is like super totes competent.”
——
Business time
At District Commons, 7:10 p.m.:
Two professional women speaking, while referring to a printed document:
Woman 1: “OK, so we’re supposed to review the SMART goals.”
Woman 2: “They’re, like, an acronym, right!?”
Woman 1: “Yeah. I cannot think of what ‘S’ means, but I know ‘M’ is measurable, ‘A’ is achievable, and…
Woman 2: “‘R’ is RETARDED!”
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Not the word I’d choose
On the escalator to Bethesda Metro:
A tourist family: mom and daughter. Mom is standing on the right. Daughter is standing on the left.
No fewer than four different people say “excuse me” to walk past. Instead of moving to the right to let people pass, Daughter scoots further to the left, forcing people to awkwardly squeeze between them.
Mom: “I guess we’re weird cause we’re not walking.”
——
The war against cars expands to a new front
Saturday night around 9 p.m. on Florida Avenue near 14th Street NW:
A thirty-something man is biking down the street one-handed, shouting into his phone:
“No! I won’t drink Bud Light or Corona!”
On the upside, he had his helmet on.
——
Yes, we have heard of this
Walking out of a fancy Columbia Heights apartment building:
Two women are talking, and woman 1 has a small Bichon Frise dog draped casually over her right arm.
Woman 1: “I wasn’t drunk, but I was, like, hungover, if that makes sense?”
Woman 2: nods knowingly
——
See above
Sunday afternoon at 12th Street and Massachusetts Avenue NW:
Young twenty-something woman: “I remember thinking Friday night that if I take another shot, I’m going to throw up, but I don’t know how to say no.”
——
Learning while you poop
At the Nats game in the outfield:
Four guys in their early thirties are sitting and watching.
Guy, out of nowhere: “Smithsonian Magazine really is the ultimate bathroom reading material….”
——
Not Biden?
A man walks across the White House lawn in cargo pants and a matching shirt:
Intern 1: “Man, I can’t believe some people dress so casual at the White House.”
Intern 2, clearly exasperated: “That’s the gardener.”
——
What’s worse, freshmen or interns?
Outside of Good Stuff Eatery on Capitol Hill:
A large group of incoming GW freshman, all wearing matching bright blue “GWBOUND” gear, wait on the sidewalk for milkshakes. One woman turns back to group of other women after being INCREDIBLY rude to group leader about how ridiculous it is to wait for milkshakes, and obviously trying to impress the group:
Woman: “Yeah, I got kicked out preschool after just FIVE days. I’ve always been a badass.”
——
Point taken
Waiting in line for a food truck at Farragut Square:
Group of four or five twenty-something nerd bros; one guy is talking about switching from dentistry to computer science:
“Yeah, you make a bunch of money but you have to look at fucking teeth all day.”
