Photo by Robert Benincasa

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

Metro can be a trying place for people who are attempting to get somewhere fast for many reasons. We like this guy’s attempt.

Overheard of the Week

9 pm Saturday at Metro Center:

Man, trying to go down the escalator to get to an approaching train, yells to a group of teenagers standing on the left side: “Hashtag, I suggest you get out the way!”

After the jump, kids, office workers, and dudes.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

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How’s that?

Friday morning near L’Enfant Plaza Metro:

Two male and one female coworkers talking about the previous night’s activities.

Man: “You really should have gone out with us last night. You missed a great time.”
Woman: “Yeah! I feel like a dead unicorn right now, but you really should have come!”

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Not a fan of Pimm’s Cups?

In Mt. Vernon Square Metro:

Two young ladies are having a conversation about feminism, when one says to the other:

“Do not, I mean DO NOT, bring up cucumbers in her presence. Ever.”

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Tell me more

On the Red line near Tenleytown at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday:

Man: “I’m not opposed to putting culturally incompatible meats with culturally incompatible carbs.”
Woman: “Chicken tikka pizza is the best!”

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That escalated quickly

At a lounge in Shaw Sunday evening:

Two late 20-something men are enjoying beers and appetizers:

Man 1: “If Donald Trump wins the election, I’m moving to Toronto.”
Man 2: “Toronto is the capital of man buns. Everyone has man buns there.”
Man 1: “You probably need a lot of hair, because it’s so cold.”

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Surprisingly accurate

At the Chop’t at 1300 Conn Ave:

Woman talking on her cell phone: “I’m at Chop’t. Chop’t. It’s like a Chipotle for salads.”

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Metro, or Bethesda?

Rush hour on the Bethesda Metro escalator:

Heard in a convention group descending the escalator: “Welcome to Hell, boys and girls!”

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Mansplain!

By Eastern Market Metro, 11:30 PM Friday:

A man and woman in their 20s are talking.

The woman thumps her chest.

Man: “That’s a baboon. Gorillas don’t do that.”

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And finally, heyo!

In a government office building:

Two guys in the hallway are talking.

“Where’s your Blackberry? You should be vibrating by now.”