Photo by LaTur
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
The week’s over. It’s about time.
Overheard of the Week
In an office elevator downtown:
Woman having a discussion with a co-worker about the closures of several bars in the vicinity: “The only reason I come to work is to drink!”
After the jump, college kids, cute kids, and non-kids.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Watch out for sparkles
U Street on a drizzly, chilly evening:
Four women, all around 30, coming out of a restaurant. One announced: “This is like Twilight weather. This is like how it always is in Twilight.”
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Priorities
Two girls about 7 years old at Turkey Thicket Playground in Northeast:
Girl 1: “Will you be my friend?”
Girl 2: “Sure.”
Girl 1: “Will you be my BFF?”
Girl 2: “OK.”
Girl 1: “What’s your name?”
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The less crazy side
A group of what appear to be staffers exit an elevator in a Senate office building:
Male staffer: “…you say that, but some idiot congressman from Iowa…” [covers mouth] “I probably shouldn’t say that so loud.”
Female staffer: “It’s okay, we’re on the other side…”
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Come here often?
In the self-checkout corral at the CVS at 14th and L:
Bewildered, apparently well-to-do, middle-aged woman with suitcase to store employee: “But WHERE should I stand in line?”
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Same here
On the Red line:
Train operator: “Passengers, we will be holding here due to a backup that goes all the way to Metro Center. I’m sure it won’t be too long.” (pause)
Then with a tone of disgust: “I don’t like it, though.”
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To be young and optimistic and unaware of the minimum wage
On M Street:
Two presumably college girls are walking toward the Georgetown campus.
Woman 1: “Can’t believe we got these summer jobs on campus! How much are they paying you?”
Woman 2: “$8 an hour. I feel so blessed! How about you?”
Woman 1: “$8.15 an hour. We are going to be so rich by the end of the summer!”
Woman 2: “I know! Money will rain down on us!”
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Washington’s worst insult
On P Street across from the Whole Foods, around 7:30 Thursday morning:
A nervous-looking mid- to late-20s guy is walking and hissing into his phone:
“I got an advance copy, looked in the acknowledgements and he wasn’t listed at all!”
Pauses to listen to the other end of the line.
“But you can’t do that, he’s a senator! And after all he did for her!”
Another brief pause.
“I don’t care if he’s an ex-senator, she still can’t not thank him! She just can’t!”
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This does kind of seem possible
Near GW on Friday evening:
Late 20s man to late 20s woman: “He’s so overqualified for his job that the simplest stuff goes right over his head.”
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Future leaders
O St NW near the Georgetown University about 2 p.m. on Georgetown Day, the celebration of the last day of class:
The campus is covered in drunken undergrads.
A young woman has just met up with a male friend. She hits him on the chest and angrily yells: “What the fuck?! You’re not drunk?! You’re too fucking sober!!!”
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Get on it!
About midnight, walking out of the Fillmore after the NOFX show:
A couple of 30 somethings are talking: “Too bad they don’t have a mosh pit function on Google Fit.”
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Thanks, Obama!
On the National Mall in front of Smithsonian Castle, near the turf restoration project:
Tourist: “Oh wow, look, they took out the Reflecting Pool and they’re putting in grass instead.”
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Clarence Thomas isn’t helping
In the Supreme Court’s press room, in the morning before oral arguments started for the day:
Unidentified reporter to several others talking in a group, loud enough for the whole room to hear: “The arguments suck now that Scalia’s dead!”
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And finally, harsh but fair
Two bros drinking craft beer at Churchkey in Logan Circle:
Guy 1: “Bro, let’s take a selfie!”
Guy 2: “You’re 35 bro, have some self respect.”
