Photo by ekelly
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
As you can probably tell, tourists are here, like neon hat-wearing locusts. They’re hopefully learning about our nation’s history and government, maybe taking in some art and, fingers crossed, appreciating D.C. and its residents as a city. But even if they’re just doing touristy stuff, at least there are new experiences for everybody.
Overheard of the Week
Yellow line to L’ Enfant:
Tourist mom to adult son after boarding: “This is an adventure for Dad and I, we’ve never been without a car before.”
After the jump, Metro train operators, funny kids, and more tourists.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Train operator shade
At 9:15 a.m. at Union Station on the Red Line the morning after the Gallery Place fire:
Train operator, totally deadpan: “We will be holding for a ‘quote-unquote’ schedule adjustment. This train will be moving momentarily.”
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Ugh
At Maple in Columbia Heights:
A very young newlywed couple seem to have just moved to D.C. from the south.
Husband: “What do you want to name our future children? We need to acquire their Gmails while they’re still available.”
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Credit to these tourists for looking for non-touristy stuff
On the Circulator towards Georgetown:
A man and woman in their 50’s, presumably tourists are on the bus.
Woman (looking down at traffic on Rock Creek Parkway): “Oh, is that the Beltway??”
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Burrrrn
Dining al fresco near McPherson Square:
Two women are discussing in-laws.
“My sister-in-law is unmarried and has no job. Unless you consider being a martyr work, because she is definitely a professional martyr.”
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Sign everyone up?
At Pride Festival:
T-shirt at Pride Festival on Sunday: “All I want to do is drink coffee, save animals, and take naps.”
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Getting off on a technicality
Outside D.C. Superior Court:
A man is yelling into his cell phone: “F*ck my probation officer! Tell him to suck my D-period-I-period-C-period-K-period.”
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Clearly
Red Line to Glenmont, 10 a.m. on a weekday:
A toddler boy and his mother are in a car that has a giant McDonald’s advertisement wrapped on the outside. McD’s ads are also filling in every slot of internal ad space.
The boy won’t stay still near the front doors of the relatively empty car, talking non-stop and making airplane noises as he runs around, but pauses to ask his mom a question.
Boy: “What’s that?” (points to ad)
Mom: “Coffee beans.”
Boy, emphatically: “I LIKE coffee beans!”
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This is one of those times where you’re not sure you want to know the context
Near 11th and G St NW, 8:45 AM:
Young 20-something woman on phone: “So basically we woke up and it was terrifying… I’m saying like 30 dead sheep everywhere.”
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Hmm
Navy Memorial, lunchtime on Tuesday:
Young mom pushing stroller in workout pants and a hot pink tee-shirt that says, “I ❤️ Mormon boys.”
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Kickball gets a lot of crap, but here is something I think most of us can support
At an adult kickball game by the Washington Monument:
Player: “What happens if you hit a tourist?”
DC Kickball staff: “If you hit a tourist, that’s a run!”
