Photo by Angela N
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Overheard of the Week
At the Cannon Building Dunkin:
One man in a suit to another man in a suit: “Gonna be a biiiig investigation, it’s been like four years since we accidentally shot someone.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Bong-bonnng
On the GW campus:
Thursday morning, two mid-20s guys are talking.
Guy 1: “The best thing that prepared me for arbitration was the Law and Order theme song. Every time I felt like I was in a good place at the trial, I played it.”
Guy 2: *nods in agreement*
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Those darn refs
At a Caps-Hurricanes game, Section 406:
Teen girl wearing an autographed TJ Oshie jersey after ref calls him for an obvious penalty: “Come on ref, you’re just jealous he’s HOT!”
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You might say he’s a… leaker
Thursday, on H Street near the White House:
Intern-type guy in blazer and sneakers is talking on his cellphone: “I’ll make sure that dog pees on his pillow.”
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That sucks
At Tuesday night bar trivia at Trusty’s:
A female member of a trivia team tells her teammates, without provocation: “I can’t stop running suicides.”
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Fair enough
A middle-aged man walks up to a bar at DCA:
Man: “You have hot tea?”
Bartender: “No.”
Man: “You have hot water?”
Bartender: “No.”
Man: “…I’ll have a beer.”
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Was there peyote involved
At Circa in Foggy Bottom:
Two women in their 20s or 30s are chatting about a vacation.
Woman 1: “It was great. Mom and I went to see the shaman together.”
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Only in D.C.
Walking into the Starbucks at 24 and M on the phone at about 1pm 2/17:
“Well I went to Del Frisco’s with Kellyanne last night. The Social Security detail was right behind her. We had quite a few glasses of wine. And we met a girl, I’m taking her out on a date tonight but since I was a little tipsy I took a photo of her so I would remember what she looks like.”
(pause)
“Did you see the photo I sent to you of us all together?
(pause)
“Kellyanne wanted to meet up again but she has four kids you know…”
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Do what?
At a bar near Navy Yard:
Server: “Aren’t you the Trump guy?”
Bartender: “I worked for Bernie, I was Bernie bro, then I became a Trump bro.”
Server: “That’s the WORST KIND!”
Bartender: “Nah, I was for Trump since he announced. “
Server: “Wait, THAT’S the worst kind!”
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Indiana Jones?
On 14th Street NW:
Woman in her 20s walking and talking on the phone to a friend.
Woman: “You know what my three biggest fears are right?” (Pause while the person on the phone says something) “Being wrongly accused of murder, cyber warfare, and snakes.”
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Hey speak for yourself (but good term)
A couple walking down U Street:
Guy: “I wish more of our friends would visit us.”
Girl: “Yeah, but D.C. used to be cool. Now we live in a Trumpster.”
