Photo by Presidents Race
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
D.C. in spring and summer is field trip central, with tons of kids here to presumably learn stuff about their country and their fellow citizens. But it doesn’t always work out.
Overheard of the Week
Sunny, beautiful day on the National Mall with kites flying everywhere and happy kids running around:
A group of teenagers presumably on a school trip.
Teen boy, about 15 years old: “I know my mom paid $600 for me to be here, but can we PLEASE go back to the hotel so that I can play on my phone?”
After the jump, more kites, tourists, college kids and monks-in-training.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Naval intelligence
Monday at 20th and N Streets NW:
Fit 50-something on cell phone: “I got three crowns, two root canals, my cavities drilled—my mouth hasn’t seen this much action since Fleet Week 1997.”
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Sex ed is getting better?
Passing pro-life protesters and signs outside the White House on a previous Saturday afternoon:
Guy to friends who are walking past the protesters: “The best way to not get pregnant at 16 is to wear a condom.”
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See above
In Brookland:
A group of college guys are walking.
“She’s cute bro! And she loves Jesus.”
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Usually the opposite, but what can you do
Tuesday afternoon, two obvious tourists walking east on H Street in front of Lafayette Square:
Man motions toward White House or the Washington Monument: “There’s the Capitol.”
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Woo!!!
At the beer garden on 14th Street:
Twenty-five year old to her brother: “You know, I’ve got my Passover schedule all worked out. It’s gonna be lit!”
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A much better Pepsi ad
40-something woman on bike whizzes pass two uniformed Secret Service police.
Woman calls out to the policemen: “Secret Service keeps getting more and more handsome!”
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You must learn the ways of D.C.
Saturday at 17th and I Street NW during the Kite Festival on the Mall:
Two early-fifties women are walking away from the festival.
Lady one, standing on the corner of the intersection, yelling at lady two as she begins to cross the street: “No, no! There is only seven seconds left!! We’ll never make it!!”
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Sometimes you can get too creative
At Georgetown School of Continuing Studies waiting for class to start:
Two female grad students, in their mid-twenties are talking.
“One of my hipster friend just named her baby Rainforest, like spelled R-E-I-G-N forest… I’m going to get a puppy and name it Reignforest.”
Friend: “That is the f*cking worst.”
A few minutes later…
“Ugh, it’s worse. She named her dog Barkland, like in Brookland but with Bark.”
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Sort of busted
Monday, 2:30 p.m. at The Exchange, a bar a block from the White House:
Fortyish guy on the phone to his wife: “Hi honey, just wanted to let you know I’m leaving the office now.”
He hangs up and orders beer and wings from bartender.
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Story of my life
Wednesday night, April 5 at Pineapple and Pearls:
Woman at a table of four “Oh no! I can’t believe I got caviar on my ‘Rent-the-Runway’ dress!”
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Take that, Jesus!
In Brookland:
A group of young men in monk robes, probably seminary students.
“He’s a hero. If it wasn’t for John Paul the second, I would not be a Catholic. He’s the man!”
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