Photo by angela n.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. is blessed with a lot of squirrels—the regular kind, Canadian black squirrels, ones who like pizza, albino squirrels, and more. So who can blame this dog?
Overheard of the Week
In Southwest:
A woman is walking her dog when the dog charges after a squirrel going up a tree.
Woman to dog: “Why do you run after them? You never catch them.”
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Adulting?
Lunchtime in Chinatown:
Three late twenty-something guys in suits come out of Gallery Place.
One of them, says proudly: “I used my big boy voice in that meeting!”
The other two nod supportively.
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You break it, you buy it
Outside the Johnathan Adler home furnishings store in Georgetown:
Woman with three rowdy kids who appear to between four and seven or so:
“Oh there’s lots of fun stuff in here, do you want to go play inside?”
Kids, unanimous “Yeahhhh!!”
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Yep, pretty much
At Midlands beer garden in Park View:
A group of three twenty or thirty-somethings are chatting.
Woman 1: “How much do you think a sniper makes?”
Man 1: “Like Secret Service?”
Woman 1: “Yeah, I guess so.”
Man 1 looks it up on his phone: “Well, a Secret Service Agent makes between $45K and 75K.”
Woman 2: “Well, I would imagine a sniper makes more since that’s more specialized.”
Man 1: “They probably don’t get to do much though since how often is the Secret Service sniping people?”
Woman 1: Yeah they just hang out on top of the White House all day.”
Woman 2: “I bet they are probably all ex-military snipers. This is such a D.C. conversation…”
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Going to save this excuse for the future
At The Pinch on 14th Street:
Twenty-something woman after getting a salad containing pears: “I’m not allergic to pears, but I’m worried I might be, so I just don’t eat them to be safe.”
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Oops
At the West End Trader Joe’s Thursday evening:
A dad is shopping with two boys in the produce corner. He approaches a nearby twenty-ish guy who is wearing a blue t-shirt.
The dad asks the guy where a certain item is located. They start chatting. Older boy, around 13, starts nagging “Dad, dad!”
After the chat’s done and the family walks away, the boy explains: “Dad, he doesn’t work here.”
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A twist on a tourist classic
On the Yellow line train stopped at King Street:
A family from Kentucky is discussing the scenery.
Kid: “What is that?” (Pointing to the Masonic Temple)
Dad: “That’s the Washington Monument!”
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Not a wine snob, but
In line at 14th Street NW Trader Joe’s on a weeknight:
A man and a woman who seem to be on a date are chatting.
Man: “Should we get some wine?”
Woman: “Yes, they have some in cans that will be easy to take with us.”
Man: “Ok great, hmmm… what kind would be best to drink unrefrigerated? White?”
Woman: “Yeah, let’s get white!”
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Ask the pear opponent above
One Pennsylvania Avenue near the J. Edgar Hoover building in the afternoon:
Young woman 1: “Do you ever get drunk and forget you’re allergic to nuts and you’re like ‘yummm a Reese’s’ and then you go to the hospital?”
Young woman 2: *silence*
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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
