Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. fwithout your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

H Street is pretty cool. There are some good bars and good restaurants, music venues, a fun street fest, and so on. There’s even a nice bookstore now. But there is one drawback…

Overheard of the Week:

At Roofer’s Union:

Mid-20’s man talking to friends about Rock and Roll Hotel: “Yeah, it was pretty fun. But I realized the next morning I left my credit card at the bar. I just canceled it. Honestly who has time to go all the way to H Street?”

——

Let’s hope

Three teens on Metro:

Announcer: “This is a 7000-series train…”
Girl 1: “What does it mean, a ‘serious’ train?”
Girl 2 (deadpan): “Yeah, this train doesn’t play any games.”

——

I’ve heard of lots of reasons why someplace is better than D.C., but this a new one

At the Navy Yard Whole Foods wine bar:

20-something guy to his friends: “There was no Saturday when I lived in Kentucky that I didn’t go to the Walmart and just wander around. I really miss that. I mean, you can do that in the city, too, but it’s not the same.”

——

You’re just repeating yourself

In an Uber Pool near the Wharf:

One twenty-something girl is talking to another about a Hinge match.

Girl 1: “Well, he likes Marco Rubio – maybe you would like him!”

Later on:

Girl 1: “He’s definitely Southern. Are you okay with that?”

Girl 2: “Sure – usually Southern means preppy.”

Girl 1: “Yeah, but that comes at a cost.”

——

First Amazon…

Nighttime after the Caps game, walking by the FBI Building:

There’s a terribly placed “FBI EXPERIENCE” tour sign in between the square pillars where you can see FB more than anything else.

Millennial to friend: “BRO! Is that the Facebook headquarters for D.C.?”

Friend: “Yeah, I think that’s it, bro!”

——

That makes it easy then

At a fine dining restaurant in Dupont Circle:

A couple is having brunch and discussing vacation plans.

Woman: “There are two places on my list. France. And France.”

——

Do what now

At the Arboretum:

A young couple is walking a dog and talking to tourists taking pictures:

“Sorry about him [the dog], he has chronic FOMO.”

——

With your bare hands!

In Chinatown:

Three guys are talking about the ethics of alligator shoes:

“Honestly, they look really cool and I don’t have any problem killing alligators. “

——

Yes, exactly, bar goer

In Breadsoda in Glover Park at lunchtime:

Guy at the bar: “Excuse me, where’s the restroom?
Bartender: “Around the corner, men’s on the right, women on the left…”

(pauses and shrugs)

“Or ya know, whatever you want.”
Guy at the bar: “2016, am I right!?”

——

Or he’s just your average D.C. workaholic

Tuesday night at the CVS at 14th & W Streets NW:

A woman in her thirties in line is talking on her cell phone, presumably to a friend.

Woman:  “[Man’s name] is homeless.  He doesn’t think so but I say he is.”

(Pause)

Woman:  “Well, he lives out of his office and showers at the gym!”

——

And finally: nope nope nope nope nope

At the Dupont Farmers Market:

Customer: “Oh, you got married? Congratulations on your wedding.”

Man working the stall: “We didn’t call it a wedding. We called it a ‘coLOVErnation’.”

Stated while sorting organic winter squashes, of course.

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.