Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

This mistaken White House is always a classic. Here we have an example updated for the modern day

Overheard of the Week

Friday afternoon on the Mall:

An early 20-something tourist couple are walking around slowly. They turn a corner and the Capitol is in view.

Woman, in awe: “Wow… I’ve never seen the White House before.”
Man, looking at her incredulously: “That’s the Capitol building. Seriously, we just came from a tour there!”

He gets out his phone and explains via video to social media what just happened.

——

Everyone is an art critic

At the Kennedy Center in line for a Hamilton sing along:

Two 20-something guys are looking at the JFK statue.

Guy 1: “It’s like a combination of Deadpool and JFK.”
Guy 2: “It looks like he has leprosy.”

——

Like totally

On M Street NW on Friday night:

Three women and two men in their early to mid 20s, some of which must have been from out of town, are walking to a house party.

Woman from here: “Isn’t it so cute here??”
Woman from out of town: “Oh my god, it is so cute.”
Another woman from here: “But like, this isn’t even the cutest.”

——

Navy Yard polar plunge!

Sunday afternoon at a rooftop lounge in a Navy Yard high rise:

Two men in their late 20s or early 30s are walking and talking

Man 1: “So cool that your building has a rooftop pool.”
Man 2: “Yeah, I can’t wait to use it.”
Man 1: “I want to go tomorrow morning, nothing like a cold swim.”

——

Real history buffs

In line to see President Bush lay in state on Tuesday night:

Two underdressed people who seem to be coworkers are chatting.

Colleague 1, trying to keep her mind off the cold: “Hey I know! Let’s play a game of telephone with everyone in line!”
Colleague 2: “Yeah, and the message would be… WALK FASTER!!”

[later]

Colleague 1: “I mean, I’m glad that I’ll have this experience, and no offense to Jimmy Carter, but I’m not doin’ this again.”
Colleague 2: “It is seriously too cold out here. “
Colleague 1: “No more presidents are allowed to die! Sorry, presidents! We’re staying home next time!”
Colleague 2: “We forbid it. It’s too cold for anyone else to lay in state. No more dead presidents.”

——

Definitely

Outside The Uptowner Cafe on King St in Old Town Alexandria:
Two middle aged white men in business attire are talking

One says to the other: “I wasn’t immoral, I wasn’t corrupt, I still don’t think I did anything illegal, but unfortunately…”

——

Welcome to the big city

In the crosswalk at 9th and F streets NW 
Tourist lady to her friends, also apparent tourists: “They have the lights timed for walkers here? Is that what you’re saying?”

——

Missed it by just one side

Nail Spa in Barracks Row:

A college-age tourist talking nonstop to the manicurist

Girl: “My mom lives right next to the tall pointy monument. You know, the Pentagon.”

——

Actually that’s not a bad description

Two early twenty-something women talking at Union Station 

“Have you ever seen Cheers? It’s like the OG Friends.”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.