Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

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Our livers all have to grow up at some point.

Overheard of the Week:

 On 14th Street on Saturday night:

20-something woman walking down the street, talking on her phone: “I feel like it was so adult of you, only having 5 drinks.”

——

Not sure

At the Ravens vs. Chargers playoff game:

After the National Anthem, the crowd starts grumbling and slightly booing about no military jet flyover.

Guy blurts out: “It’s because of the government shutdown.”

——

Too soon

In a federal government building, during the shutdown:

Two co-workers listening to Nancy Pelosi’s speech after she is sworn in as Speaker of the House.

Pelosi: “We enter this new Congress with a sense of great hope and confidence for the future…”

Co-worker 1: “Here we go!”

Co-worker 2: “Let the games begin!!”

——

Don’t think arguing at the DMV is going to help you

At the Georgetown DMV in the late afternoon:

A woman is talking to the security guard about needing to have a doctor’s verification for her D.C. drivers license.

Woman: “I’m very angry right now. The website said I needed a doctor’s verification if I was 70. I’m 4 months away from turning 70, I’m 69 right now. I could pass for 59. Heck, I can pass for 49 because I’m fit.”

—— 

Touché

 At the 9:30 Club before a show:

A middle-aged couple is making out pretty hard by the 2nd floor balcony.

20 something woman walks by and loudly says” “Don’t forget to leave room for Jesus!”

The woman whips around: “No thanks, we’re not into threesomes.”

——

Customers getting saucy

On the Metro during an evening commute:

Automated intercom announcement: “Emergency intercoms are not available at this time.  We apologize for any inconvenience.”

Passenger 1: “Wait, what sort of inconvenience at they talking about?  ‘Sorry you died in a fire?”

Train operator: “Please disregard that message, emergency intercoms are operational.”

Passenger 2: “We are saved!”

Passenger 1: “That was ‘Back to Good’ in record time.”

——

Pure willpower

At the 14th and K post office:

Cheerful older woman pauses briefly from singing no-longer-seasonal Christmas tunes to herself to remark on the weather to postal clerk: “It’s going to snow this weekend!”

Grumpy old man at the back of the line: “No it’s not!”

——

To be fair, their other store is called “A Baked Joint”

In front of Baked and Wired in Georgetown:

A father and a daughter in her 20s walks by and sees the line out the front door.

Father: “So it that a dispensary?”

Daughter: “No Dad, it’s a cupcake store.”

——

Ooh, fancy

At Le Diplomate on Saturday night:

Waiter, carrying a carafe of tap water: “This is the House water. It’s filtered.”

——

Appearances can be deceiving

On the Metro:

Two early 20s women enter a Silver line train heading to Largo. One seems to live here and the other is from out of town.

Out of town friend: “Oh my god! This is like a fancy Metro. It has leather seats. I can’t imagine this catching on fire.”