Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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People often think of D.C. as a government town. That’s not exactly correct, it’s a town of many identities. For example, it’s also a pretty big military town. That’s a serious job, but sometimes you need to let off steam, so to speak.
Overheard of the Week:
On 7th Street in Barracks Row on Saturday night:
A group of 20-something Marines jog by.
Marine 1: “Oh man, I am way too full for this.”
Marine 2: “MY FART WILL PROPEL ME FORWARD!!”
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Truly incredible
In Dupont on Friday evening:
Two mid-20s apparent out of towners are waiting on a third to catch up.
Woman 1: “Dude, what are you doing?”
Woman 2, catching up: “There was a hair salon above a pizzeria!”
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Sounds rough
In an Uber:
Hill staffer: “I love my job; it just sucks when your boss is indicted.”
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The horror
At Earth Treks in Crystal City:
Climbing gym attendee: “I’m out of quinoa for the first time in my ENTIRE life!”
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Party time
At BWI at 6 in the morning:
One 40-something to another: “I used to have this melatonin that looked like my drug of choice. And one day I found one on my carpet and was like ‘Oh yes!’ then ‘That blows.'”
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A good question
On the 104 bus from University of Maryland to the College Park Metro:
Two women way back in the bus are having a lively conversation: “Are you still considered a single mother when you have a nanny!?”
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Sounds like a relief pitcher
Two 20-something women are walking on Kalorama Rd. in Adams Morgan:
Woman 1: “Hey do you wanna run into Harris Teeter with me?”
Woman 2: “Sure. But what’s a Harris Teeter?”
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Work is confusing!
At 14th and U streets NW:
Man in his mid 20s talking on his phone: “No, they won’t tell me when my next shift is … I dunno, something about not showing up for my first shift. Well, I would’ve called if I had known they were going be such dicks about it!”
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Kids these days
At the Lincoln Memorial:
One teenage tourist to another “Don’t call Abraham Lincoln ‘daddy!'”
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And finally, correct
At the theatre seeing Richard III:
Person 1: “They asked if the government won or the defendant, and my hot take was that the defendant won.”
Person 2: “That … that’s not a hot take.”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.