Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

Overheard of the Week:

At a Capitol Hill salon

One hairdresser to another: “I think I’m going to buy a snake with my tax refund.”

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Focus on your goals

At George Mason University’s Fairfax Campus

Guy to his two friends: “I look up to Abraham Lincoln because he’s dead, and I want to be dead someday.”

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Tough live decisions

On the Red line to Shady Grove in the evening rush hour

20-something woman to another: “How long can I keep my roommate’s cat as my background after she moves out?”

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Does it, though?

Monday evening on the M4 bus at Nebraska and Connecticut Avenue, two young women, probably AU students, are talking.

Woman 1: “That’s where Politics & Prose is?”
Woman 2: “Yes.”
Woman 1: “I didn’t know. I’m not from here. And what’s Comet?”
Women 2: “A pizza place, with ping pong tables.”
Woman 1: “That sounds so Republican.”

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Scandalous

At Dulles, during boarding for a flight to Indianapolis:

A very well-dressed young woman is talking about her reluctance to fly home: “My Olivia Pope business is done and I am sad”

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Rare but possible

On the 16th street bus during the commute

20-something woman on cell phone: “Yeah, he’s a dog, but … he’s also annoying.”

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Address please

At Gallery Place Metro, two 20-something guys are talking

Guy 1: “Yeah, my building is like 10 years old so it’s trying to catch up with all the new trends like free wine….”
Guy 2 interrupting: “WAIT—THEY GIVE FREE WINE?! I’m moving.”

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I’m with teen 2

Walking through Mt. Pleasant, two teenage boys are having an energetic conversation

Teen 1: “Five pounds of Sour Patch Kids!? You would definitely die if you ate that.”
Teen 2: “Yeah, probably”
(A moment passes.)
Teen 2: “Yeah, but $10…”

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You never need excuses for cheese

At the Eastern Market Trader Joe’s

Mid 20s man on the phone, looking at the cheese case: “Because I’m a responsible adult man, and I can make responsible adult decisions.”