Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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No matter how hard or important you think your job is, it’s important to take time out for a break.
Overheard of the Week
Near the Farragut Square government offices:
Young woman to friend: “This isn’t Disney World. If I don’t get to my job, the country doesn’t run.”
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Technology is hard
At baggage claim at DCA right before the Mueller report came out:
A guy is picking up his family, and mentioned he worked at the White House.
His sister, very loudly: “I EXPECT A FULL POWER POINT PRESENTATION ON THE MULLER REPORT!”
WH Staffer: “SHHHH! Be quiet! That’s one thing I learned here the hard way here. You can’t do power points. They don’t like it. I don’t know why.”
Sister: “But they have new versions.”
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Important considerations
At El Centro DF during boozy brunch:
A group of drunk 20 somethings, 3 girls and 4 guys, are talking about tattoos.
Girl 1: “As a woman who wants to have children someday, I can’t get a belly tattoo or it will stretch out and get gross.”
Girl 2: “You can always adopt.”
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I like the idea of D&D at a brewery
At happy hour at a brewery in Silver Spring during a Dungeons and Dragons game:
Dude: “I’m playing a barbarian but even though he’s not that intimidating, he thinks he’s scary. He was raised by Orcs and thinks he’s one of them and doesn’t know he’s a gnome.”
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RIP Rumors
Outside of District Anchor (formerly Rumors):
Well-dressed man engaged in what appears to be a pleasant conversation. Suddenly the man yells: “You see that’s what you don’t understand. That’s what I do. I smoke pot.”
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A golf wallet is a thing?
Saturday afternoon in Georgetown:
Two twenty-something-year-old women are talking to each other while crossing the street.
Woman 1: “He has a trashy one, but I want to get him a nice one. I want him to have a real golf wallet. I want him to actually play golf.”
Woman 2: “We’re training these boys.”
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Smart kid
On a Green line train at Gallery Place:
Young man in possibly late teens/early 20s to his friends: “I’m at the point in my life where I don’t need the Red Line anymore. If I can avoid it, I do.”
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Hmm
On a nice afternoon on the Mall near the Smithsonian Metro:
Tween tourist with family: “Where’s the Air & Space Force one? Can you Google map it?”
——
Solid burn
On the Circulator on K St below the Whitehurst Freeway:
Two young women, maybe GW students, are chatting.
Woman 1: “Oh, there’s that really horrible restaurant. The worst grill in the world.”
Woman 2: “It’s like white mediocrity on a plate.”
Woman 1: “But isn’t that all of Georgetown in a nutshell?”
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Shopping with parents, always a joy
At Safeway at 8th and O:
A late 20s looking man is grocery shopping with his mother.
Mom, perusing the prepacked deli meats section: “Honey, what about these? Do you need some deli slices? For sandwiches? They’re over here.”
Son: “No, I don’t eat those. They cause colon cancer.”
Mom: “What? Where did you get that from?”
Son: “Yeah. they do. You can look it up. Colon cancer.”
Mom: “Well you can’t believe everything you read. Just because you see one thing…”
Son: “Mom, its everywhere. Google it. It’s a thing.”
Mom: (muttering) “Well, you used to eat…”
Son: (loudly) “MOM I DON’T WANT IT!!”
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Agreed
Inside Pret on M and 18th mid-afternoon:
A male and female co-worker in their early/mid-20s are debating whether or not one should attend a networking lecture later that evening.
Woman: “Will there be booze? If not, don’t bother going. Networking sober is just an attempt to make friends.”
——
Umm
At Rock Creek Nature Center during a field trip of four- and five-year-old pre-k students:
Park ranger: “Hey, kids, do you want to touch our beaver? It’s really soft.”
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A good definition of what it means to be one of us
Evening in at the outdoor dining section of restaurant Del Mar in the Wharf:
Late 20s woman to male dining companion: “The problem with me and tapas is the tiny portions. Like these meatballs are delicious, but I just want to eat a whole big plate of them. I’m not hungry, I’m just … American!”
——
Been there
Corner of New Jersey and Louisiana NW, late afternoon on a beautiful Tuesday:
A mother, two pre-teen girls and a 5-year-old boy are walking.
Mother: “We walked a lot today, walking is good!”
Boy (capitulating, with a very tired voice): “It is not…”
The two girls run forward.
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