Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. has plenty of government machinations, espionage, double-crossing, and more covert operations. But some are more serious than others.
Overheard of the Week
Near the Georgetown Law campus
A couple, mid-20’s, are arguing on the sidewalk. A woman has her arms crossed, shaking head, looking away.
Man, yelling: “What kind of person says she doesn’t want pizza and then goes and gets pizza by herself?!”
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Peak Mt. Pleasant
Saturday morning in Mt. Pleasant
Four 20-something guys carrying a curiously heavy chair down the street
Guy 1: “So last night I went to a Tarot Reading Improv…”
Guys 2, 3 & 4: [in unison) “OF COURSE YOU DID…“
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Similarly dangerous, too
Friday, Dupont South escalator, around 6 p.m.
A woman in her 50s or 60s to her similarly aged male companion: “The thing I don’t like about the scooters is that people leave them willy nilly. Like drunken sailors just lying there tipped over.”
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Yes, and please keep submitting overheards
At Nats Park on Tuesday night, two yuppie men in their 20s
Man 1: “I think I’m getting more agoraphobic as I get older.”
Man 2: “What’s agoraphobic?”
Man 1: “Anxiety over big group settings—I just really don’t like big groups or crowds anymore.”
Man 2: “I think you probably just don’t like being around people and hearing other peoples’ lame conversations.”
Man 1: “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
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Networking is hard
At Dacha Navy Yard
Dude to his buddies: “Yeah, I got coffee with that dude and all my ass kissing was for nothing. I even wore a polo I knew he’d like.”
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This could be a heartwarming or terrifying conversation
In a high-rise elevator in NoMA
Two men are talking: “Bro, citizenship is like, a hot commodity!”
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Millennials!
At the Saturday morning U Street farmers market pickle/kimchi stand
Millennial hipster girl, speaking excitedly to millennial hipster guy: “Oooh they have kombucha now!”
Guy: “Do you like kombucha?”
Girl: “Hm I don’t know, I’ve never tried it.”
——
Trying to learn the local culture
Outside Maydan on a Thursday evening
Late 50s woman to what looks like her companion, a man in his later 60s: “I thought about asking Alexa this morning to play some Washington D.C. go-go music. Just so I could get an idea and try to understand it.”
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The view down 16th is very romantic
Walking through Rabaut Park at 16th & Columbia NW
Mid 20s or 30s woman to man of the same age: “Oh my God, do you remember that time we walked to the grocery store late at night and saw all those condoms on the ground? It was over here.”
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Amazon?
In the Union Market parking lot
Burly hipster-y looking man with a vape pen to a security guard: “Do you know where I can buy ornate brass knuckles?”
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D.C. relationships 101
In the food court at the Pentagon City Mall
A young girl in her 20’s is crying into her phone over a bowl of Panda Express: “I understand that, Jared, but I’m just so goddamn tired of the senator being more important to you than me!”
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Maybe the kid just loves transit
Near Union Station
Dad to a boy, probably about 3 years old: “That’s not the Magic School Bus, Henry. That’s the Circulator.”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
